If you’re a single kick butt girl, chances are you struggle with this issue when it comes to your guy friends. It’s really hard to not want more with one of them (or, in many cases, more than one of them). You don’t want to like them, but you just can’t help yourself! Here are some tips to help keep your head and heart in check.
Avoid alone time together
When you spend time alone with a guy friend, he seems perfect. Every word he says is deep and godly. He’s a perfect gentlemen. You suddenly forget all those glaring faults that he exhibits when he’s in large groups. If you find yourself falling for him every time it’s just you and him, avoid those times! Make sure you’re always in groups. Let a girl friend know about your struggles so she can be your third when you need it. And never let him drive you home at night. That’s when girls are at their weakest
Don’t make him out to be better than he is
No guy is perfect. If you think he is, you’re kidding yourself. This might seem harsh, but think about that guy you are struggling with and think of his faults. It will really help bring you back to earth. Be real with yourself and recognize the ways you build him up in your mind.
Don’t make him out to be worse than he is
In an incredibly elementary school fashion, I’ve seen way too many girls try and combat their feelings by bad mouthing the guy behind his back. Not only will that not help your raging emotions, it’s mean. So don’t. In fact, avoid talking about him all together. That’s a pretty safe bet to guard your heart
Focus on your girl friends
If you find yourself constantly wanting to hang out with a guy you’re trying to be just friends with, replace it with investing in your girl friends. Text them instead. Initiate time with them instead. Make plans with them instead.
Keep conversations light
Girls fall head over heels for a guy who talks about things like sanctification and predestination with passion. If every time you talk to him, you turn to goo as soon as he busts out some systematic theology, avoid those deep conversations. That’s not to say that you can’t talk about your faith. But keep it light. Recognize your weak spots and protect yourself.
Keep conversations bright
The worst time to hang out with a guy is after ten o’clock at night. Your defenses are down and suddenly everything he says and does has your mind whirling with romantic possibilities. So confine yourself to spending time with him during the day.
Stop the day dreams
If you find your mind drifting to a particular guy that you are fighting feelings for, say a quick prayer for him, then move your thoughts to something else. Pick a verse that you will work on memorizing. Pick some other people to pray for. Text a friend. Read a chapter of a book. Don’t let your mind and heart dwell on him.
Treat him like a friend
Sounds simple, right? But it’s a huge thing! Don’t look at him as a potential husband or boyfriend. Don’t doodle your initials together. Don’t talk to other people about him like the two of you have a super special relationship. Treat him like a friend.
Sure, something may happen in the future. But don’t hold your breath. If he’s the guy for you, he will take the first step. He will make things happen. Don’t rush God’s timing. Be patient. Enjoy friendships. Don’t expect more out of him because there never may be…and that’s not a bad thing.
Question: What are some things you’ve found yourself doing that make it harder to be “just friends” with a guy? What are some things you do to help you protect your heart?