Content With Discontentment

Drawing for user page (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“What I am anxious to see in Christian believers is a beautiful paradox. I want to see in them the joy of finding God while at the same time they are blessedly pursuing Him. I want to see in them the great joy of having God yet always wanting Him.” – A.W. Tozer

Doesn’t that just hit you, tough girl? A beautiful paradox of content yet discontent. Of joy yet longing for joy.

Jesus. You can’t get enough of Him.

The thing is you know all about discontentment, don’t you? You know what it is to long and to want. To be consumed with the desire for something. Maybe it’s something new. Maybe it’s a change in circumstances. Maybe it’s wanting that new season of life. Whatever it is, we all identify with that feeling of wanting more.

Unfortunately, when it comes to contentment, we are typically content with far less than we should be. It could be contentment with average grades or a kinda clean room. You’re content with being just alright with your parents.

Worse is being content with our relationship with Jesus. Being content with a lukewarm faith or one that is moving at a snail’s pace. You figure it’s okay just going to church and reading your Bible every once in a while. After all, it’s better than nothing.

But to take our understanding of contentment and discontentment and apply them to our spiritual walk – well, that’s another story. It’s running after God full force, every day following Him and experiencing Him through His Word and through fellowship. It’s finding a joy that surpasses all understanding and comes simply from knowing Him.

But you don’t stop there. It’s like getting a sip of the sweetest most satisfying drink in existence – and all you want is more. So you keep drinking and keep savoring, each taste filling you with complete satisfaction, yet leaving you thirsting for more.

That, tough girl, is true joy in Christ. It’s the joy of having every want and need met in Him. It’s being comforted, cherished, and loved. It’s being treasured, protected, and blessed. It’s the joy that comes from being content…so content that you want more. More peace. More relationship. More knowing and being known.

Do you know that joy? Don’t you want to?

“Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.” – John 16:24

Question: Is your joy truly in Jesus, or Jesus and something else? What are you discontent about right now? What would your life look like if you were truly content in Christ and the only thing you were discontent with was wanting more of Him?

Related articles

• Lady In Waiting: Contentment – The Torture of Desire and The Capacity to Wait (girlfriendscoffeehour.com)
• Contentment (joequatronejr.wordpress.com)

The Power of Words and the Glory of God

This Soviet war poster conveys the message: “Don’t chatter! Gossiping borders on treason” (1941). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Are you amazed at the power of words?

The written word is simply a string of characters chained together. The spoken word is a combination of tones and inflections. Yet all are laced with meaning, emotion, and heart.

Your words can make or break who you are.

Do you want to glorify God, tough girl? Do you want to be His light shinning bright everywhere you go? Do you want to be a better disciple, a better witness, and a better follower of Christ?

Watch your words.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue…” – Proverbs 18:21

“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” – Proverbs 16:24

“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” – Proverbs 12:18

Let me ask you this, tough girl – are your words bringing life or death?

Are you bringing life or death to your parents? Do the words you speak display the respect and honor they deserve (not because they’ve earned it, but because the Bible says so)? Do you build them up, encourage them, and love them with the love of Christ? Or do you cut them down, disrespect them, talk back, and argue?

Are you bringing life or death to your friends? Do you encourage them with Scripture, encourage them when they are feeling down, and make them feel special and loved? Or are you sarcastic, cutting, mean-spirited (though you try and cover it by saying, “I’m just kidding!”), and rude?

Are you bringing life or death to your teachers? Do you respect them, honoring them with when you speak and don’t speak? Or do you whisper in class and complain about them behind their backs?

Do you gossip? FYI – that whole thing about, “It’s not gossip if it’s true” totally isn’t true. It’s gossip and slander if it’s negative and mean. How can you tell? Check your heart. If you get joy out of saying something negative about someone, it’s gossip.

And speaking of heart, you may say to me, “Crystal! This is all fine and dandy, but really – is it that big of deal? Doesn’t God care more about my heart than my words?”

I’m so glad you asked!

“But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.” – Matthew 15:18

“If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.” – James 1:26

You can’t claim to have a Jesus-loving heart and not have Jesus-loving words come out of your mouth. Sure, we all slip. But with that slipping should come conviction, repentance, and an apology. And a conscious effort to try and not do it again.

Do you want to glorify God, tough girl? Watch your words. Think about what you say. Think about what you don’t say. Think about what you think about saying!

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” – Ephesians 4:29

Question: What kind of words come out of your mouth? Are you speaking life or death to your parents, teachers, and friends? Do you make a conscious effort to build others up? How could you do it even more?

Meet The Not-So-Average Girl

Starting next week, you are going feel a lot less alone.

If not next week, maybe the week after. Or the week after that.

On Fridays, I am going to begin a new feature called, “Not-So-Average Girl.”

Who is the Not-So-Average Girl? It’s you. It’s me. It’s every single tough girl out there trying to live life, love Jesus, and figure out their place in this giant world. She’s in high school, college, or just out of college. She’s been a Christian for a long time and she’s pretty new in the faith.

I’ve contacted several tough girls I know who all have one thing in common: they love Jesus. Why do I want you to meet them? I want you to know that you’re not alone. I want you to know there is someone out there just like you. I want you to know you’re not the only one who feels the way you do, hurts the way you hurts, and loves the way you love. I want you to know it’s okay to be different, quirky, silly, loud, quiet, shy, or funny. I want you to know it’s okay to be single and it’s okay to date.

I want you to know it’s okay to be you.

So stay tuned! Read the Not-So-Average Girl profile each week. Be encouraged by tough girls who are just like you.

And always know that you’re not alone.

Love Your Dad

Typically during the last week of the month I blog about boys – which, according to my statistics, you tough girls like the most. Well, this week’s blog will be a little different. I want to talk about dads.

Chances are, when you read that, you felt one of two things – excitement or dread. I want to talk to each one of you.

If you have an amazing dad – Thank God for him! And then tell your dad thank you! You have been blessed, tough girl, with a fantastic example of what a dad should be, what a husband should be, and – most importantly – a sample of how God loves you. You have a dad who cares about you, is there for you, is willing to sacrifice for you…what a gift! Please don’t take it for granted. There are so many girls out there who would give anything to have a dad like yours.

Always remember that the way he loves you is simply a mirrored reflection of how much your Father in heaven loves you. Your earthly dad is always there? God is even more faithful (Joshua 1:9). Your earthly dad makes you feel beautiful and loved? Your heavenly Father made you and rejoices over you with singing (Zephaniah 3:17). Your earthly dad disciplines you? God the Father disciplines you even more because He wants what’s best for you (Hebrews 12:7-11).

So do yourself – and your dad – a favor: thank him. And thank Him. And always rejoice in this wonderful relationship you have.

 

If you have a distant/uninvolved/absent dad – tough girl, my heart goes out to you. That relationship that was supposed to be so vital to your well-being, that protection you should have have, that sense of safety and security and belonging you were supposed to have either didn’t happen or didn’t happen enough. Maybe your lack of relationship with your dad has left you depressed or lonely. Or maybe it’s made you a people pleaser, trying so hard at everything you do to win the approval that should have come from him. Or maybe it’s left you feeling ugly and un-special, so you seek that acceptance and attention from any guy that will give it to you.

Here’s the thing – even the girl with the worst dad in the world has the greatest Dad in the universe. Your Father in heaven seeks to be all that your earthly dad should be and more. He longs to lavish you with His love, to reaffirm your special and beautiful self, to hold your hand in thick and thin, and always always be there for you. His heart is broken that your dad wasn’t the dad he should have been, but He is in heaven ready and willing to fill that hole that your dad left.

Your dad isn’t around either physically or emotionally? God will never leave you or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:8). Your dad never built you up or told you how beautiful and wonderful you are? Your heavenly Father says you are His worksmanship and He has amazing things that only you can do (Ephesians 2:10). Your dad has hurt you in a way that you think you will never get over? Your Father says that you are a brand new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17).

So do yourself a favor – whenever you feel the hurt and the pain that comes from your relationship with your dad, lift it up to your Father in heaven and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is that Father you so desperately desire.

Question: How has your relationship with your dad helped or hurt your relationship with God the Father? How do these Bible verses help? What kind of qualities will you look for in a boyfriend that would point to him being a godly Father?

Why You Should Be Joyful

If you’ve followed this blog for a while, you know that I’m kind of a geek about joy. Okay, I’m a geek about a lot of things (seriously, it’s kind of embarrassing how much comic book stuff I have!) but nothing compares to the obsessive passion I feel about joy.

Why? Why do I think it’s such a big deal for tough girls

 

Joy is a fruit of the Spirit – “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, JOY, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23

It isn’t just something that happens. It is a fruit of walking hand in hand with the Holy Spirit, allowing Him to produce fruit in your life. Joy is a sign of your relationship with HIm

 

Joy is a gift from Jesus – “Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask and you will receive, that your JOY may be full.” John 16:24

We’re talking Alpha, Omega, Almighty, Holy, Wonderful, Savior of mankind Jesus. Giving a gift. To you. He’s not the kind of person you say no to.

 

Joy brings God glory – “And you became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you received the word in much affliction, with the JOY of the Holy Spirit.” 1 Thessalonians 1:6

In this world, there is a lot of happiness. But happiness is temporary and conditional. Joy, however, is not. It is solid, long-suffering, enduring, constant, and consistent. It is totally unlike anything in this world – which points to Someone much bigger than this world.

 

Joy teaches us to keep our eyes on Christ – “May all who seek You REJOICE and be glad in You!” Psalm 70:4

Again, happiness is found in the temporary things and situations of this life. So when life gets hard and things get crappy, happiness vanishes. But joy doesn’t. Joy causes us to say no to the expectations and standards of the world and say yes to Jesus who is always there, always loving, no matter what.

 

Joy draws us closer to other believers – “I am acting with great boldness toward you; I have great pride in you; I am filled with comfort. In all our affliction, I am overflowing with JOY.” 2 Corinthians 7:4

Even when things are difficult in your own life, we are knitted together with our brothers and sisters in Christ and get to rejoice when they are rejoicing. Isn’t it amazing when you feel that immediate connection with someone when you find out they are a Christian?

So, why is joy so important for tough girls? It is something that is unique to the person of Jesus and the relationship He has with His children. It makes us stand out from the world as different. It points to something so much bigger than us. It says that Jesus is enough even when the world says the complete opposite.

Joy matters. Are you filled with it?

Question: When is it hardest for you to walk in the joy of the Lord? How do these truths and Scriptures help? Are there any other verses on joy that you love?

Related articles

• Galatians 5:22 Joy (briancoatney.com)
• Not Crazy – A Devotion (lthomason.wordpress.com)
• Happiness is Overrated (thestorytellersapprentice.wordpress.com)

How To Deepen Your Roots

2011.01.01 Bible (Photo credit: Gerard’s World)

I could re-stat the obvious by extolling the virtues of personal quiet time, Bible reading, prayer, church attendance, and service. But I’m going to give you more credit than that, tough girl, and assume you already understand the vital importance of those things.

So here are some other ideas for how to deepen your roots. I hope you’ll take one or two and really run with them.

Deepen your quiet time. Make it last longer. Try being outside. Or go in a closet with a candle and nothing to disturb you. Have it multiple times a day. Actually write in that journal you’ve had sitting around forever. Read a Christian book along with your Bible. Become an expert on a Christian hero of the past.

Deepen your Bible reading. Increase the amount you read. Memorize a book of the Bible (James, Titus, and Colossians are popular ones). Practice “scribbing” – writing out Psalms word for word. Read the Bible out loud. Write down things you don’t understand and actually talk to someone about it. Tell someone what God is teaching you and ask them to keep you accountable regarding it.

Deepen your prayer life. Write out a prayer list and be faithful to pray every day for certain people and things. Gather friends and pray together. Volunteer to pray out loud at youth group. Attend prayer meetings at your church. Read a book on prayer. Pray for every single person you see mentioned on your Facebook newsfeed. Practice being silent before God and learning to hear His voice. Pray through the Psalms.

Deepen your church attendance. Start going to Sunday School or a Bible study. Meet with an older woman outside of church. Get together once a week with a friend to pray together, read the Bible, and keep each other accountable. Volunteer to help with children’s ministry. Tithe. Learn what missionaries your church supports and start communicating with them. Go on a mission trip.

Deepen your service. Make a goal of doing one selfless act a week. Take over one of your parents chores around the house. Keep your room clean. Give away some clothes. Then give away some more. Bring your teacher coffee. Take time away from your friends to spend time with someone who needs some love.

Question: What are you doing to deepen your roots? What do you think you will apply from this list?

Related articles

• There’s more to Bible reading than… Being on your own (meetjesusatuni.com)
• Lesson 5 – Prayer – Assignments (christiansareus.wordpress.com)
• “Coffee Time” with God (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)

When You Need To Be A Little More Serious

How would you describe yourself?

Energetic?

Immature?

Social?

Awkward?

Crazy?

Irresponsible?

Teenagers and young adults don’t have the best reputation in our culture. Just look at any show on ABC Family and you will see that you are painted as dramatic, inconsiderate, rebellious, selfish, hormone-driven, short sighted, and slightly stupid.

Yes, you should be offended.

But here’s my question for you, tough girl. Are any of those negative stereotypes true for you? Do people at your school think you’re just like everybody else? Do your parents? Does any part of your life reflect those girls on TV and at your school that you find so disgusting?

Truth is, you could probably afford to be a little more serious. I’m not talking about not smiling or laughing. That’s boring, not serious. It’s about much more than that.

Serious conversations. Having real heart-to-heart talks with friends where you talk about things that are deep. Being vulnerable and open, even if it is hard or embarrassing.

Serious school time. Not goofing around or playing with your phone. Actually respecting your teacher and your education.

Serious family time. Not taking your parents and all that they provide for granted. Helping out without grumbling. Occasionally choosing them over your friends.

Serious thoughtfulness. Thinking through the things you say and how they will be received. Thinking through what you wear and what message it sends. Thinking about how you spend your time and if it is best.

Serious Jesus love. Reading your Bible. Praying. Giving of your time and money. Making sacrifices. Reading Christian books. Talking to people about your faith.

If you’re itching to look different – to be different – than the typical young girl, maybe it’s time you started being a little more serious about…well, everything.

 

“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God…put to death therefore what is earthly in you…” – Colossians 3:2-3, 5

 

Question: Do people look at you think you’re different than everyone around you? Are you seen as dedicated, focused, and mature? Where in your life do you need to be a little more serious?

 

Learn To Be His Friend

Here’s how it typically works:

1) Meet a new guy.

2) Realize he’s cute.

3) Find out he’s Christian.

4) Find out he’s single.

5) Start planning your wedding.

This happens way more often than I’m sure you’d like to admit, tough girl. It’s difficult to not view every half decent guy that you meet as potential marriage material.

The problem? Girls can build up a guy in their hearts and minds within a week of meeting them. And these poor guys are completely clueless.

Can you imagine what he’d do if he got a glimpse into how far you’ve taken your “relationship” in your head? Let me give you a hint. It involves backing away slowly. Then running like crazy.

Tough girl, one the best skills you can learn in life is how to be a guy’s friend.

Learn to slow your heart down. Girls go from zero to obsessive in about one second. Slow it down! Just because he’s cute and Christian doesn’t mean he’s the one to put a ring on it. Remind yourself that you don’t want to waste any of your heart passion on a guy who isn’t the one. And, despite what every Disney movie tells you, you don’t know he’s “the one” the instant you meet him.

Learn to balance your time with him. As girls obsess over boys, they tend to want to be around them all the time. You know who you are. You figure out where he will be during the school day and change your route to be there too. Any time a group is getting something together, you make sure he’s going to be there. It gets to be that you don’t want to do anything or be anywhere if he isn’t there. Stop it! If you want to think about him less, spend less time with him, texting him, Facebook stalking him, or even regular stalking him.

Learn to stop talking about him. As girls obsess over boys, they talk about them. All. The. Time. If in every story you tell his name pops up, you are being both obsessive and annoying. It means he’s on your mind way more than he should be. So curb the stories you tell about him. Just because they make you feel closer to him doesn’t mean you actually are.

Learn to see him for who he is. When a girl likes a guy, he becomes close to perfect in her head. That’s a lot of pressure on him. No guy can live up to the perfect image of him you’ve build up in your head. Recognize his faults and short comings. Let them annoy you a little. It will help you keep your heart from going overboard.

Learn to let go of your claim on him. One of the worst things a girl can do is start to think of a guy as hers when he’s not. Suddenly you find yourself jealous and bitter toward other girls who are friends with him. Tough girl, he’s not yours. His attention, affection, and time have nothing to do with  you. He can spend as much time as he wants with his boys. He can have other friends that are girls. If your heart is aching because you see him in the halls laughing with another girl, you’ve got to let that go.

Learn to enjoy being friends. If time spent with him feels strained because you’re reading into everything he says, trying to figure out the meaning behind every word he says and look he gives, you’re not being a good friend. Let him be him. Guys are not at ALL subtle. They either like you or they don’t. If he hasn’t come right out and said it, then don’t obsess over whether he does or doesn’t. Stick with doesn’t. That makes it so much easier to just enjoy him as a friend.

The right guy is out there for you. And, when he comes your way, he will do the work of romancing you and winning you over. Until that time, just enjoy this time of being friends with the guys you know.

How To Fight Like A Girl – First Day Of School Edition

For most people in my area, this week marks the first week of school. I can picture it now – school hallways smelling of new pencils, new shoe rubber, and enough dude body spray to make Abercrombie seem mild. People are talking and laughing as their eyes roam the halls, trying to spot old friends and spy out new ones. Hearts and heads are filled with a slew of emotions: anticipation, anxiety, excitement, insecurity…all before that first first bell rings.

Whether you are headed off to jr. high, high school, college, or are just hanging out while you figure life out, this is a special time. This transition from summer to fall is like a second wind – a renewed burst of energy where your recommit yourself to life, living, and following Jesus. So how will you do it this year?

Be more Jesus centered. Set a goal of waking up 15 minutes earlier and reading your Bible before school. Turn off the radio on the way to school and use that time to pray. Put Bible verses on your book covers, on the dash board of your car, in your lunch. Find ways to remind yourself every moment of every day that you desire to follow Jesus.

Be less self focused. Don’t change outfits a million times. Cut back on your get ready time. When you get to school, ask your friends questions instead of talking about yourself (a good way to measure this is to count how many times you use the words “I” or “me” in a conversation.)

Be more others focused. Reach out to someone new even on that first day. Practice smiling more. Don’t let anything come out of your mouth that is even remotely gossip, slander, or complaining. Be sunshine!

Work Hard. Set a precedent for how this year will look. Pay attention in class and look your teacher in the eye. Don’t pass notes and don’t text. Do your homework quickly.

Take The Time To Rest. I can’t tell you how many girls I know who are already running a million miles an hour as school is just beginning. Don’t get into the habit of running yourself into the ground. Yes, work hard and be diligent. But take time to slow down and connect with your family. Dinner, a board game, or a TV show – just do something to refresh yourself and be with your fam.

“You shall diligently keep the commandments of the Lord your God, and His testimonies and His statutes, which He has commanded you. And you shall do what is right and good in the sight of the Lord, that it many go well with you…” – Deuteronomy 6:17-18

How are you hoping this school year will look? How do you want it to be different from last year? What can you do to follow Jesus more closely?

Tough Girl Summer Reading Intensive Challenge

If you were following this blog last summer, you will remember the Tough Girl Summer Challenge I issued. The goal of the summer challenge was to make the most of these lazy summer days and do something that matters. If you didn’t do it or if you did it and really enjoyed it, I would highly recommend doing it again.

This year, I’d love to invite you to participate with many high schoolers and college students at my church who are participating in what we call “Summer Reading Intensive.”

The goal? 5 books to stretch your mind, heart, and faith in 3 months. That equals out to one book every two weeks.

Why are we doing it? Simple – we need to read! How amazing is it that we can spend time with heroes of the faith like John Calvin? That we can hang out with fantastic preachers like John Piper and Francis Chan? We’d never miss the opportunity to spend face to face time with these guys – and we can…through books.

Here’s the list of books. Our group is getting together every other week to talk about the book we just read. If you decide to read along, feel free to post your comments, questions, and reflections here. I will post a review of each book after I read it.

Book 1 – Think by John Piper (you can download a free copy here): June 24

Book 2 – Crazy Love by Francis Chan: July 8

Book 3 – Portrait of Calvin by T.H.L. Packer (you can download a free copy here): July 22

Book 4 – The Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan: August 5

Book 5 – Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis: August 19

If you’re a total nerd like me, feel free to join our summer intensive Facebook group. We will have study guides for each of the books (a couple written by yours truly )

So, are you up for the challenge? Ready to work out those mind, heart, and faith muscles this summer? I’d love to have you join me!

P.S. If you decide to do last year’s summer challenge, the FIRST thing on the list is to read five Christian books. Well, isn’t that something…