How To Smell Like A Tough Girl

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If only they could bottle up our fragrance and slap it on a shelf at Bath and Body Works! But, since Ode De Kick Butt isn’t in the making, it’s our job to spread that smell everywhere we go. Here’s a few ideas:

 

Bake. Do it often and do it well. There is not a soul in the world that isn’t blessed by a fresh homemade cookie or pie. Imagine the reputation you would develop if every time you went to school or joined up with friends, you had baked goods for them? Eventually the scent of apple pie or chocolate chips will bring to mind images of your graciousness.

 

Read. Be it internet or books, there’s nothing like knowing tons of useless facts or story plots to get a conversation going. Reading molds you into this funny, random, well of trivia that helps people feel like you can relate to them on any level. And, let’s be honest, there’s nothing like the smell of a good book! It makes you smell smart.

 

Clean. There’s one tough girl I know who, whenever she goes pretty much anywhere, the first words out of her mouth are, “How can I help?” She’s that girl who will stay after at your house, washing dishes or sweeping the floor. And always with a smile on her face. As I do laundry or use any kind of cleaner, I always think of that girl and her servant heart. Smelling bleach makes me want to be more like her.

 

Be optimistic. There’s little better than positive words of affirmation. You can be that person who brings minty fresh sunshine everywhere they go! Every time you open your mouth, let blessings, bits of encouragement, and admiration spill forth. Use every time that you speak as an opportunity to build someone up! And, if you always have gum, people will associate mint with the joy that you bring.

 

The best part about smelling like a tough girl is that it naturally repels all super villains. Super villains often smell like garbage, B.O., or like they just took a bath in Axe body spray. They can’t stand the smell of your Jesus-y goodness and will stay far away.

 

Hooray for being smelly girls!

 

How Not To Flirt

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Last week, Kelly at Unaverage Relationships posted this blog about not flirting. It got me thinking – how do we not flirt. I don’t know about you, but flirting comes way too easily. (Good thing I’m married. Now I can flirt with my husband all I want!)

So what’s a kick butt girl who doesn’t want to be flirty do? Here’s a few ideas:

Problem: You try to be modest, but you love the way guys look at you when you’re not. You justify it by saying it’s not that bad. The shorts aren’t as short as some of the ones other girls wear. The tops aren’t as bad as they could be.

Solution: Get some new clothes. But instead of going by yourself or with friends, go with your dad. Or big brother. Or grandpa. Or all of the above. Not only will it keep you modest, it will be such a miserable experience that you won’t want to repeat it.

Problem: You’re a texting maniac. There’s a guy or two that you just can’t help but try and talk with every moment of every day, so you text. And text. And text. And if he doesn’t text you back, you text him more. If he does text you back, you not only text him more, you start dreaming about your wedding.

Solution: Remind yourself – more than ten a day is flirting! Stop at nine and you’ll be fine. So have someone keep you accountable. Like your dad. Or big brother. Or grandpa. Or all of the above. And, yes, Facebook chat, wallposts, and status comments count.

Problem: You think guys are cute. Everywhere you look, you see cute boys. And if one of these cute boys even looks in your direction, you’re smitten. If he is nice to you, says hi, or asks to borrow a pencil, you start to think about what your children will look like.

Solution: Remember that super villains always have good looking assistants. So chances are that that cute guy you’re eyeing is in league with someone who wants to rule the world in an evil type way and eventually you will have to defeat him in some epic battle where you destroy him with your kick butt skills. And, let’s face it, that’s not the best ground for starting a relationship.

(Don’t believe me that villains are cute? Check out this video)

Problem: You’re a giggler. When you get around a cute guy, a guy you like, or anyone of the male gender that isn’t related to you, everything they say removes all vocabulary from your mind and replaces it with a ditzy giggle. Sometimes, this giggle results in a playful touch of the guy’s arm or a playful touch of your hair.

Solution: I’m working on an invention (patent pending) that you carry in your pocket and gauges your giggles. When giggling gets goofy and out of control, it shocks you. And makes your hair fall out. And makes your breath stink.

What do you think? Any more ways to not flirt? And what should I call my giggle prevention device?

Video Viernes #1

Viernes means Friday, but I’m sure all you tough girls knew that because we’re pretty proficient in other languages.  Anyway, I’m going to post a totally kick-butt video every Friday!  If you ever have a suggestions, e-mail me and let me know.  And if you totally love it, pass it on!

This week’s video has two FANTASTIC lessons for all us kick-butt girls.

Lesson 1 - A villain by any other name is still a villain – even if he is totally cute and can sing.  It doesn’t matter if he thinks you’re beautiful or is willing to stop the world for you. He’s still a villain. He’s constantly up to no good. And you will always have to play second fiddle to his desire to rule the world. So, ladies, stay away.  Just stay away!

And all you villains out there?  We know what you’re up to.  So sing and romance all you want.  We’ll never fall for your charm.

Lesson 2 – When you have to do something you hate (like laundry) make up a song about it!  Always helps to pass the time

My very favorite part is his little dance at 1:47. BUT HE’S STILL A VILLAIN!!!!

Tough Girl Tool Kit

Do you carry a purse?  As a kick-butt girl, you should.  And it’s about a whole lot more than accessorizing (which, we all know, every tough girl LOVES to accessorize).  There’s things we all need in case of emergencies:

• ID: This is always handy in case you find yourself in a foreign country and you lose your passport while kicking butt.  Or if you get drugged by a super villain and wake up with a nasty case of amnesia.  A tough girl always needs to know who she is.

• Waterproof mascara: Not only handy to avoid looking like a raccoon whenever you have bad days, also handy in the event that you get ship wrecked and stranded on a desert island.  After all, kick-butt girls love to look good.

• Gum: First is the obvious breath freshener (because it’s not kick-butt to knock someone over with stank breath).  But it’s also good for holding things together, like if you have to attach a detonator to an explosive device.  Or, heaven forbid, you lose the back to your earring.

• Pen: It writes notes.  It hide notes – unscrew it, roll up a piece of paper, hide it inside, and screw it back together.  Also handy for drawing mean doodles of villains and enemies, preferably with stink lines coming off their heads.

• Keys: They start cars, open doors, work as a weapon and, probably most practically, can serve as an accessory if you pick out a super cute key chain.

• A journal: You never know when a fantastic kick-butt idea will hit!  Plus it makes you look even smarter than you already are.

• Pocket Bible: Because a kick-butt girl knows where her kick-butt passion and strength flows from.  And, again, on the accessory front…well, to match the Bible and the journal and the key chain and the purse?  That’s pure genius.

What about you?  Can you think of anything else that is a must have for kicking butt?