So you’ve got a guy. And you like him…a lot. The best part is that he likes you too! But you don’t want to be that friend who ruins her friendships all because she starts dating. So what’s a dating girl to do?
Be intentional about making time for your friends. Sure, this guy is amazing and wonderful and all you want to do it be with him. But he’s not your everything and shouldn’t be your everything. The same way your relationship with him grows by spending time with him, you need to keep your friendships growing by spending time with them. Date your friends. Go out for coffee, plan girl nights on the weekend, and make sure that you aren’t taking them for granted. They are your friends, after all.
Don’t make everything about him. Keep in mind – there is probably nobody who likes him as much as you do. Well, his mom does. And his grandma. But that’s beside the point. Your friends don’t want every conversation that you have to be about him. You are more than your boyfriend. Keep his name to a minimum in your conversations. Here’s a hint – if, in every conversation you have his name comes up, you aren’t really doing a good job with the first point because it means that you are spending all your time with him. Which also brings us to the next point.
Keep your heart centered on Christ. You ain’t married yet, tough girl! And this boy, as great as he is, is not your Savior. So don’t treat him like that. Don’t worship him. Don’t make him out to be more than he is – a sinner saved by grace who is battling his flesh every day. You will be a better friend if you keep worshiping Jesus and don’t worship him. This includes your time, your thoughts, your energy, your everything!
Listen to your friends. Just because they aren’t in a relationship doesn’t mean that they can’t give you advice. Treasure their observations and take to heart their advice. Listen to their wisdom and trust that they have your best interests at heart. This makes them feel valued and will keep you humble.
Build them up. Remember how tough it was for you being single while your friends were dating. Find ways to encourage them, love on them, and let them know they don’t need a guy to make them happy. Show them that, even though you have this boyfriend, you still need them as a friend.
Pray. Daily ask God to help you be a good friend while you date. Ask Him for wisdom, discernment, and conviction. Ask Him to open your eyes to where your heart is and where it needs to be. And pray for unity in your friendships.
Question: What kind of friend are you when you are dating? What would your friends say? Do you put as much effort into your friendships as you do into your dating relationship? What can you do to be a better friend?