Ninja Prayer Warrior

Image via Wikipedia

 

On Monday, I posted about the need to pray and gave a tasty tip about how to do it.  But is there ever a time to act as opposed to a time to simply pray? How can a kick butt girl kick up their prayers a notch?

 

Situation: The super gross couple making out in the hallway

-       A Praying Person would stand on the opposite side of the hallway and pray for the couple – that they would stop being so physical and realize how totally inappropriate they’re are.

-       A Ninja Prayer Warrior would do the same thing, but also carry a spray bottle. When they’re done praying, they would walk to the couple and pretend to sneeze while squirting them at the same time. That will make them stop.

 

Situation: The guy or girl in class who is a disrespectful jerk

-       A Praying Person would lift them up to God, praying that He would convict them of their attitude. They would also pray for an opportunity to talk to the person about their behavior.

-       A Ninja Prayer Warrior would pray, then hide notes everywhere for the jerk to find that simply say I’m watching you. Then they would get a group of people who, throughout the day, would just stare at the person. The paranoia alone will cause them to be silent with fear.

 

Situation: The gabby girl who can’t seem to say anything that isn’t gossipy or hurtful

-       A Praying Person would not only pray that they would stop, but pray for the people that are being hurt by all the talk. They also wouldn’t hesitate to call the person out on their gossip and do whatever they can to avoid those conversations.

-       A Ninja Prayer Warrior would do all of the above, but also start packing pepper spray. Ever time the gossip girl started in on one of her rants, the ninja would stealthy squirt a bit of the spray, causing gossip girl to start  coughing and gagging. Sure, it will probably clear out the room and cause some slight respiratory problems for everyone around, but at least she won’t be talking for a while.

 

Situation: The girl from middle school that you can’t stand because of some horrible thing she did to you that she probably doesn’t even remember

-       A Praying Person would confess to God their bitterness and resentment. Then, they would pray that God would help them to forgive the girl and move on. Finally, they would pray that God would bless that girl – and keep praying until they actually mean it.

-       A Ninja Prayer Warrior would pray all that stuff, then devote themselves to the girl as an indentured servant and smother her with kindness. Carry her backpack. Get her lunch. Wash their car. Carry her up stairs. They would do so many nice things for her, she might change schools just to get away from it all.

 

Are you up for the ninja prayer warrior challenge?

 

Refurbished Resolutions

Image by koalazymonkey via Flickr

According to usa.gov, there are several resolutions that people make year after year. But, if you are a kick butt kind of girl, you’ll find them kind of meh. So here is a fixed up resolution list for all you tough girls.

 

Their #1 – Drink less alcohol

Kick Butt #1 – Drink more water. Exchange your Starbucks cup for a water bottle. You’ve heard it all before, right? But it’s true! Drinking water helps you feel great, loose weight, and even helps with cramps. Can I get an Amen?!? Check out this site for a wonderful list about the benefits of water. Not only will you be more prepared for random ninja attacks, you’ll have more cash in your pocket by forgoing those toffee nut lattes.

 

Their #2 – Get a better education

Kick Butt #2 – Read more. There is no such thing as an ignorant tough girl. When is the last time you read a book not for school? I’m a big time fiction lover (hopefully you are too since my fiction book will be out this next year!) However, I know I need to balance it with a healthy dose of non-fiction, help me grow in my faith kind of books. My husband has an incredible book list on our youth group’s website to help you get started.

 

Their #3 – Get a better job

Kick Butt #3 – Work harder at EVERYTHING. School work. Helping out around the house. You name it. Tough girls dedicate themselves to giving 100% at everything they do. So whatever you plan on doing this next year, do it better.

 

Their #4 – Get fit

Kick Butt #4 – Get tough. I hate exercise. But I know it’s good for me and takes care of this body that God has given me. So I’m forcing myself to do it. Tough girls are more than just fit. They are healthy. What do your eating habits look like? How much TV do you watch? Are you proud of the way you treat your body? How can you be tougher?

 

Their #5 – Manage debt

Kick Butt #5 – Be more giving. I had a great talk with a high school girl about this the other day. It’s not about debt. It’s about spending. It’s not about how much you spend. It’s about who you spend it on. Are you tithing? Are you saving? Do you spend more on yourself or on others? Does your money reflect a contentedness is Jesus, or a desire for material things?

 

Their #6 – Manage stress

Kick Butt #6 – Chillax. All this striving to be tough and kick butt can wear a girl out! Don’t “do” all the time. Learn to “be.” Be still. Be quiet. Be restful. Not lazy, mind you. But take a Saturday for fun and friends! If your to-do list doesn’t get done, don’t stay up later trying to finish. Take a few things off. Even the Lord rested. Take His lead.

 

Their #7 – Quit smoking now

Kick Butt #7 – Quit the verbal diarrhea. Don’t be a gossip girl. Don’t be a pretty little liar. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. But, since tough girls never keep silent, work on the niceness.

 

Their #8 – Save money

Kick Butt #8 – Simplify. Clean out your closet. Clean under your bed. Want to be more content this year? Be more generous? De-clutter your life. Learn to live with less.

 

Their #9 – Take a trip

Kick Butt #9 – Take a trip. Can’t really argue with this one. I love to travel! But, if you are going to take a trip, make it special. Visit a friend you haven’t seen in forever. Take an unplugged trip where you don’t have an iPod, cell phone, or DS – just your Bible, a book, and a journal or sketch pad. Or sign up for a mission trip!

 

Their #10 – Volunteer to help others

Kick Butt #10 – Volunteer to help others. The difference? Do it in Jesus’ name and for His glory. Not because it’s fun. Not because you’ll feel better about yourself. Do it because we’re called to love like Jesus.

 

Which one of these do you want to do? Any to add to the list? Don’t forget about the read the Bible in year plan I talked about here.

 

The Kick Butt Night Before Christmas

Image via Wikipedia

 

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

 

A tough girl was creeping, stealth as a mouse

 

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care

 

But little were her family and friends aware

 

As visions of sugar plums danced in their heads

 

This tough girl they knew kept wishing she was dead

 

That she was dead to every single selfish desire

 

And the material things she wanted to acquire

 

That she would die to gossip, envy, and slander

 

And, if she couldn’t be nice, she’d be much blander

 

And that she’d stop chasing after those darn attractive boys

 

Thinking attention from them would bring her much joy

 

That she would die to the critical girl in the mirror

 

And that rejection from people she would no longer fear

 

So she crept, silent and quick, with ninja-like skills

 

Her heart racing with a secret mission thrill

 

She soon found herself in a place unexpected

 

She’d made it to the tree, totally undetected

 

With a  wink of her eye and a twist of her head

 

She instantly knew she’d nothing to dread

 

For at the foot of the tree sat a present with a bow

 

And her name on top on a label like snow

 

She didn’t need to open it or shake it to and fro

 

Because who the gift was from instantly made her know

 

That her life would never ever be the same

 

Because of that baby that so long ago came

 

And died the death that she so desired

 

And gave her more than she could ever acquire

 

And blessed her with words that brought life to those around

 

And gave her more love than any boy that could be found

 

And called her fearfully and wonderfully made

 

The love from this baby began to cascade

 

From her head to her toes, and straight to her heart

 

Changing her, humbling her, tearing her apart

 

Then building her back up, better than before

 

Because this is what He came to earth for

 

She was made to bring Him glory and love in His name

 

That was why that little baby so long ago came

 

So with a  smile on her face and joy in her veins

 

She leapt up, feeling challenged and changed

 

Wanting to spread the word to all who would hear

 

And live a life that would draw them near

 

To that baby Jesus who lived and died on a cross

 

And rose again, so that none would be lost

 

So she sang and exclaimed with all of her might,

 

“Merry Christmas to all! Let’s live for the Light!!’

 

 

 

Video Viernes #22

Now THAT’S what I call doing the robot!

In Case Of Ninja

I’ve written blog posts on how to stay in shape to be prepared for inevitable ninja attacks (because, when it comes to ninjas and kick butt girls, it’s like moths to a flame), but I think is worth discussing what NOT to do in the case of a ninja attack.

Do NOT kick them. Don’t get me wrong, tough girl. I know you’re stronger than most people and the majority of ninjas are shaking in their tights at the very thought of you, but kicking in no one’s strong suit. You’re more likely to cause damage by punching, jabbing, or giving a hefty squirt of pepper spray.

Do NOT flirt with them. I don’t care what movies say! You’re way too precious and wonderful to use your God given beauty and charm to get away from a creepy ninja. So bare your teeth, growl a little, and show him kick butt girls are nothing to mess with.

Do NOT try to reason with them. Save your smarts for school and game shows tomorrow. Kick butt today.

Do NOT run and scream like a girl. That should go without saying. There’s nothing wrong with running – especially if you’ve just had your nails done or you’re wearing a super cute top you don’t want to get dirty. And it’s okay to make noise – ninjas hate attention (hence the all black thing). But please don’t scream like a little girl. That’s just embarrassing. Shout, yell, sing if you have to. But you are not a little girl.

You’re a kick butt girl. Show that ninja who is boss!

For more about fighting ninjas, check out these previous posts:

How To Be Tough

Ninja Fighting 101

Simple Self Defense

Simple Self Defense

Tough girls know how to fight. Literally. We know to avoid dark alleys and parking lots, seeking out someone to walk us around at night if needed. But in the event of an emergency, we know how to take care of ourselves. And if you’re doubting your kick butt self defense skills, here’s a couple of reminders:

#1 – Avoid being alone at night. Simple as that. Especially knowing that zombies like to roam around in packs, it’s good to up the chances of kicking butt without breaking a nail.

#2 – In the event of an altercation, get your scream on. God gave us tough girls loud voices for a reason.

#3 – If you must fight, move forward and back, not side to side. Distance is a good thing and throws off your opponent. Side to side moves keep you in their hitting, sword, nunchuck, and spitting range. And no one wants to get spit on. Then again, if you’re fighting someone who resorts to spitting, well, you’re probably in pretty good shape to win that fight. Or it’s a lama. They’ve been known to roam dark alleys.

#4 – Again, if you must fight, don’t kick. Hit, claw, propeller arm if you have to. A blog a few weeks ago listed some fantastic purse weapons. Anything can be a weapon. Your legs? While they may be jaw dropping in pair of skinny jeans, they aren’t the best to use in a fight if you aren’t trained in that sort of thing. So only use it as a last resort. And never doubt the power of your elbows. And your head. Those things know how to pack a punch! (No pun intended…well, maybe a little)

#5 – Know the spots to hit. Ninjas make that silly choice to leave their eyes exposed, which is a key spot. As is the throat and, well, you know the other place. Land your pokes and jabs, your head butts and those last resort kicks.

So avoid any and all situations where you might need to fight. But, if you must, kick some serious butt!

Testing Toughness

Have you had your toughness put to the test?

I love being sassy. I love cracking jokes. I like getting the upper hand over ninjas and kicking some serious zombie butt.

But I am the least confrontational person in the world. So, of course, this is what gets put to the test.

The other day I hopped on Facebook, doing the whole Facebook creeper thing, when I spotted a young man who shall remain nameless having a conversation with someone else. (Why do people do that, anyway? Have these status update conversations for the world to see?) In this conversation, this young man who shall remain nameless used and incredibly inappropriate word that made my jaw drop.

What does a tough girl do in this situation?

My first instinct, I’m embarrassed to say, was to just log off, close my eyes, and chant worship music until the image of that nasty word faded from my mind.

But that’s hardly tough.

So I sent him a private message (because posting it on his wall would have been mean and not tough at all) and called him out. With hands shaking I told him in a kind and loving yet sassy and kick-butt way that he should know better.

Within two minutes, the whole conversation – horrible word and all – got erased. The young man who shall remain nameless later told my husband that it felt like I kicked him in, uh, a certain region of his body.

My toughness got tested. And I totally passed.

How has your toughness been tested lately?

Ninja Fighting 101

I know no one likes to talk about it, but there are ninjas out there. Real martial arts masters bent on wreaking havoc and generally making life miserable.

As kick butt girls, we need to be prepared in the even of a ninja attack.

1. Get in shape and stay there. Ninjas may be crafty and wicked, but they are also quick and nimble. You have to be able to keep up in a fight without showing any signs of weakness such as wheezing, panting, or calling for a timeout. Try something as simple as going for a walk everyday – especially if you stop to jump over cracks and practice kung fu moves on unsuspecting mailboxes.

2. Dress fabulously. Ninjas dress in black to blend in with the night, but who wants to blend in? All kick butt girls know a cute outfit has a mind numbing stun-gun effect on even the toughest ninja. Heck, they have that effect on anyone. Hint: Accessories are they key.

3. Pick a weapon of choice. Forget swords and nunchucks. They don’t match anything. Think kick boxing. Think intellectual knowledge mixed with streets smarts and a smattering of pop culture trivia to rival even the brightest of minds. Think a sense of humor and pizzazz that will cause ninjas to pee their pants. Or a combination of all three!

4. Tackle the tough guy first. That will shake up all the little guys and make your fight go a whole lot quicker.

5. Train other girls to be tough like you. Because when you develop a reputation as both a tough girl and a molder of other tough girls, ninjas will cower in fear at the very mention of your name.

How To Be Tough

If you’re reading this blog, chances are you are a kick-butt kind of girl.  If not, continue reading we’ll make you one.  If you’re a dude, you should pay attention so you know what you’re getting into when you come across one of us.  But let’s get a few things clear first:

#1 A tough girl is by no means butch.  We are cute, beautiful, princess-like, divalicious and overall amazing.

#2  A tough girl isn’t always athletic.  We have a variety of skills such as serious musical talent, mad knowledge skills, and the ability to make people look twice every time we walk into a room.

#3  A tough girl isn’t mean. In fact, we’re incredibly nice and kind. That way, people are off their guard when we show off our tough girl skills (i.e. ninja battle, zombie fighting, shark attack survival, lock picking, etc.)

#4  A tough girl doesn’t always wear camo and combat boots.  Sometimes we do, but most of the time we prefer to blend in with the masses. If you wonder why, see the reasoning on #3.

#5 A tough girl is crazy in love with Jesus. After all, He made us this way.

Think you’re a tough, kick-butt girl?  Tell me why!