Proverbs 31 – Kick Butt Edition

A kick butt tough girl who can find?

She is far more precious than the latest iPhone.

The heart of all guys trusts in her

Because she dresses with modest style.

She does them good and not harm

Treating them like brothers in Christ.

She works hard at everything she does

And helps out without being asked

She is like that awesome book series turned into a movie

Everyone wants to see her

She rises even when she’s tired

And cares more about spending time with Jesus than sleeping in

She isn’t wasteful with money

And prides herself on being content with less

She isn’t all about “stuff”

And would much rather give than receive

When she starts something, she finishes

Unless it’s a craft that got way too hard and out of control

She opens her hand to whoever needs it

And could care less about popularity

She is not afraid of photos, Facebooks, and text messages

Because her life isn’t ruled by them.

She covers herself while swimming in public

And can bend over while wearing shorts and not be embarrassed.

Her reputation is spread all over school

Of being kind, generous, joyful, and fun.

She makes friends and keeps them

Even when they drive her crazy.

Strength and dignity are her clothing

She could take out a ninja without breaking a sweat.

She opens her mouth with wisdom

And actually knows what she’s talking about.

She looks well in the eyes of her household

Because she’s also kick butt to her parents and siblings.

Her friends rise up and call her blessed

Because she’s there for them, keeps them accountable, and is a good friend.

Many girls have done excellently,

But you surpass them all.

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,

but a kick butt tough girl who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Give her a hug, a pat on the back, or a finger sizzle

Because she makes Jesus smile by how she lives.

 

The Best of How To Fight Like A Girl: 4

How To Dress To Get His Attention

As much as we say we don’t, we do. As much as we pretend that we don’t, we do. We get dressed in the morning, think about a certain someone (or multiple someones) or even the hope of meeting that someone and think, “I wonder if this will get his attention?”

Guys are visual. It’s easy to dress in a way that gets his attention or turns him away. The problem is, way too many girls dress in a way that attracts the wrong kind of guy. Sure, short shorts and tight shirts will get guys looking. But it will be the wrong kind of guy. So here is some advice as to how to dress the grab the attention of the right kind of guy.

Be Yourself

Are you a sporty kind of girl? Rock the sneakers, basketball shorts, and ponytail. Are you into music? Wear shirts with music-type jokes that only you get (I’d insert one here, but I’m not musical and, therefore, have nothing to offer). Into nature? Wear lots of brown and green and get one of those feather extensions that are so popular right now. The bottom line is, wear things that boldly proclaim who you are. Guys want you to be real.

Be Modest

I know I’ve pounded you over the head with this time and time again, but it always deserves repetition. The bottom line is, if it’s not for sale, don’t put it on the menu.

Be Feminine

As much as modesty is important, it’s no excuse to be a slob. Use good hygiene. Make sure your clothes are in good shape. Don’t wear too much make up. Buy clothes in the girl’s department. Dress up on occasion and celebrate your inner girly girl.

Be Humble

The ultimate test of your appearance is asking your dad. Ask him if it’s too much or not enough. Ask him if he has any suggestions. Does dressing like Daddy’s little girl really get a guys attention? If your dad approves, that means that you will be dressing to impress the right kind of guy.

Be Patient

One of the reasons girls change their appearance is the hopes of getting some attention – pretty much any attention from any guy. But if you are modest, feminine, and totally yourself, the right guy will come along at the right time and think you are beyond beautiful just the way you are. So keep being yourself and wait. Even when it seems like it’s taking forever, wait. He’ll be along some day.

I was watching What Not To Wear the other day and there was a girl with orange skin (too much tanning), bleached blond hair, and so much makeup, I’m surprised it wasn’t dripping off. She wore tight pink clothes and talked like a ditz.

More shocking than her appearance was what she had to say. “I’m a nice Christian girl and I just want a nerdy, geeky kind of guy. But it seems like only jerks are interested in me.”

I wanted to shake some sense into her! You really think a nerdy, geeky kind of guy would even approach you let alone ask you out? And, I don’t even know you, but they way you dress and talk screams, “I’m easy!”

The best way to dress to impress a guy is to don’t. Don’t try too hard. Don’t be consumed with it. Be modest, be yourself, and be patient.

What are some of your favorite things that you wear that your perfect guy will just fall in love with?

Related articles

• The Summer Of Skirts (fightlikegirls.wordpress.com)
• You are what you wear (theshenpen.wordpress.com)
• Modest is Honest (mistygatlin.wordpress.com)

This blog was originally posted on June 29, 2011

The Best of How To Fight Like A Girl: 2

Image via Wikipedia

 

Hot Or Not Part 2

Read part 1 here

So, Kindra gave away half her wardrobe. We already talked about the heart of it – the fact that the way we dress shows that our hearts are already spoken for.

But there is another very practical reason that modesty matters.

Boys.

In the book For Young Women Only (which I highly recommend for absolutely everyone!) it states that whatever girls wear, guys are picturing you in about ten percent less.

Don’t believe me? Ask a guy friend.

That’s what happened to Kindra. As she was writing a Bible study for the middle school girls she hangs out with, she asked a guy friend what was modest and what wasn’t. The answer stunned her. It’s not like she was an immodest dresser. But she was convicted to work even harder at presenting an imagine that was pure, godly, and wouldn’t make a guy start thinking things about her that he shouldn’t.

So here’s a list of things this seventeen year old guy said weren’t okay. And these are things aside from the obvious of shirts that show cleavage or your stomach and shorts that are super short.

Yoga pants: They’re great for working out in. But wearing them in public? Let’s be honest, you know your butt looks great in them. So does every guy who sees you walk by.

Skinny jeans: There’s skinny jeans and then there’s skinny jeans. Pants shouldn’t look like they are painted on. Want to be extra careful? Wear a shirt long enough to cover up your butt.

Jeans that cause muffin top: Now, this one hits close to home for me because I don’t exactly have a stick figure. But if you have to suck in your stomach to button your jeans and, as a result, have a ring of tummy draping over the tops of your pants, they’re too small. Remember, it’s just a number. The size of your jeans doesn’t define you.

Shirts that show your bra: For sure a summer problem. This same guy that Kindra asked about modesty once asked me, “When did it become okay for girls to show their bra straps?” Again, remember that whole thing about guys picturing you in ten percent less than what you are wearing.

Shirts with words across the chest or pants with words across the butt: It’s like having a giant neon side that says, “Look at my boobs! Check out my butt!”

Bathing suits: Whether or not you look hot in a bathing suit (I am a not), those might be the worst inventions in the world when it comes to protecting guys and their eyes. So what can we do? Tank tops (not white) and those awesome board shorts.

The word “cute” isn’t in a guy’s vocabulary. What we often think of as cute, young guys think of as hot and sexy.

So what’s a tough girl to do?

Don’t wear things that might cause a guy to lust. I know the list is long. But kick butt girls are all about sacrifices for the greater good. Yes, lust is their problem. However, we can’t control them. Yet there is someone we can control:

“Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.” – Romans 14:13

 

Do take steps to ensure that your wardrobe is modest. Camis are not okay shirts by themselves. But they are great under other shirts. Layers are your best friend. Scarves are fantastic and a stylish way to cover things up. When in doubt, go loose over tight. Use the mirror to look at yourself from every angle: front back, bending over. What can you see?

And the best rule of thumb: if it isn’t for sale, don’t put it on the menu.

The Best of How To Fight Like A Girl: 1

 

So, as you read this, I am walking where Jesus walked in Israel! A life-long dream is coming true right NOW!!! Needless to say, I don’t exactly have internet access. So, for the next two weeks, enjoy a re-post of some of the most popular blogs from How To Fight Like A Girl.

 

Hot Or Not (Part 1)

This is Kindra (the one with the icky, sticky hands), a junior from our youth group who loves mentoring younger girls, acting, and singing. Kindra is pretty, super bubbly, and one of the nicest girls you’ll ever meet.

She also might be slightly insane.

You see, this weekend Kindra went to her closet, grabbed about half her clothes, and gave them away.

Yes, you read that right. Half.

 

And why did Kindra do something so drastic? It’s a little something we like to call: conviction.

On Wednesday, I’ll write more about the specifics about the conversation. But today, let’s talk about why modesty is a must for every kick butt girl. Yeah, it has to do with not making guys stumble. But there’s something so much more.

Let me ask you, what’s going through your head when you get dressed in the morning? Are you imagining who you’re going to see and what they will think about what you’re wearing? Do you size up certain areas of your body, hoping to look “cute”?

Why is all that so important to us? When it comes to modesty, you’ve probably heard the verse:

“Do not let your adorning be external – the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear – but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” – 1 Peter 3:3-4

 

It essentially tells us what not to wear and what to work on.

But again – why?

That last part of the verse really hints at it. So does this:

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of God.” – Galatians 1:10

 

Why does modesty matter? It’s the same way that the way we spend our money matters. Or the same way that the way we spent our time matters.

It shows where our heart is.

It shows that we don’t need the approval of our friends or the attention of guys to make us happy – we have Jesus. It shows that we care more about what God thinks of us than what the culture thinks of us.

Modesty matters because God tells us that His approval is all that we need. And, when we trust that, it shows in the way we dress.

So take a look at your outfit. Take a look in your closet. Do your clothes reflect a kick butt girl who is totally satisfied with the ravishing love of her Savior? Or a girl who wants to fit in and get attention?

This blog was originally posted on January 24, 2011

How To Become The Best Version Of You

This past weekend, I got to go to the Do Hard Things conference in Portland, OR. (If you don’t know about Do Hard Things, click here to read the book review I posted a few weeks ago). It was an awesome day filled with tons of info and challenges.

One of the things that stood out the most was one of the brothers who said, “People think you’re a good kid if you do nothing. You don’t do drugs. You don’t sleep around. You don’t fail school. You don’t do anything…and that makes you a good kid.”

Is that you, tough girl? Are you coasting through life, considering yourself a “good” person because, in comparison to everyone else around you, you’re not doing the “bad” things they’re doing? Are you a good person because you’re known for doing nothing?

Let me challenge you, girl – DO SOMETHING! Don’t just get by with avoiding sin. Get up, move, and turn your “good” life into something amazing and extraordinary.

The verse of the conference was that typical youth verse:

“Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers and example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” – 1 Timothy 4:12

 

Did you hear that? You don’t set example by doing nothing and avoiding things. You set an example by doing something!
Setting an example in speech by doing nothing looks like not cursing, not gossiping, not talking back, and not complaining.

Setting an example in speech by doing something looks like encouraging people, giving people Bible verses, and standing up for truth.

Setting an example in conduct by doing nothing looks like not doing “bad” things like drinking, drugs, sex, skipping school…the list goes on and on.

Setting an example in conduct by doing something looks like being generous, doing things for other people, working as hard as you can and then some…the list goes on and on.

Setting an example in love by doing nothing looks like not being mean and not neglecting your responsibilities

Setting an example in love by doing something looks like going out of your way to be kind, demonstrating selflessness and sacrifice, serving others, being a good listener…and initiating those things, not waiting for people to ask you.

Setting an example in purity by doing nothing like like not dressing like a slut, not having sex, and not watching inappropriate things.

Setting an example in purity by doing something looks like encouraging your friends to dress more conservatively, promoting things that have a pure and positive message, working at having relationships that celebrate purity in every single area.

Question: What are you known for: doing nothing, or doing something? What can you do to do more?

For the next two weeks, I’ll share some of the practical ideas they had to make this kind of stuff not only happen but stick.

PS – Alex and Brett Harris have an awesome website called The Rebelution. Check it out for more great ways to do hard things.

Related articles

• Moody Publishers’ Blogger Review: “Uncompromising” by Hannah Farver (onedesertrose.wordpress.com)
• We have to embrace REBELUTION (reinehere.wordpress.com)
• 1st Timothy 4:12 (youthofeternity.wordpress.com)

How To Dress To Get His Attention

As much as we say we don’t, we do. As much as we pretend that we don’t, we do. We get dressed in the morning, think about a certain someone (or multiple someones) or even the hope of meeting that someone and think, “I wonder if this will get his attention?”

 

Guys are visual. It’s easy to dress in a way that gets his attention or turns him away. The problem is, way too many girls dress in a way that attracts the wrong kind of guy. Sure, short shorts and tight shirts will get guys looking. But it will be the wrong kind of guy. So here is some advice as to how to dress the grab the attention of the right kind of guy.

 

Be Yourself

Are you a sporty kind of girl? Rock the sneakers, basketball shorts, and ponytail. Are you into music? Wear shirts with music-type jokes that only you get (I’d insert one here, but I’m not musical and, therefore, have nothing to offer). Into nature? Wear lots of brown and green and get one of those feather extensions that are so popular right now. The bottom line is, wear things that boldly proclaim who you are. Guys want you to be real.

 

Be Modest

I know I’ve pounded you over the head with this time and time again, but it always deserves repetition. The bottom line is, if it’s not for sale, don’t put it on the menu.

 

Be Feminine

As much as modesty is important, it’s no excuse to be a slob. Use good hygiene. Make sure your clothes are in good shape. Don’t wear too much make up. Buy clothes in the girl’s department. Dress up on occasion and celebrate your inner girly girl.

 

Be Humble

The ultimate test of your appearance is asking your dad. Ask him if it’s too much or not enough. Ask him if he has any suggestions. Does dressing like Daddy’s little girl really get a guys attention? If your dad approves, that means that you will be dressing to impress the right kind of guy.

 

Be Patient

One of the reasons girls change their appearance is the hopes of getting some attention – pretty much any attention from any guy. But if you are modest, feminine, and totally yourself, the right guy will come along at the right time and think you are beyond beautiful just the way you are. So keep being yourself and wait. Even when it seems like it’s taking forever, wait. He’ll be along some day.

 

I was watching What Not To Wear the other day and there was a girl with orange skin (too much tanning), bleached blond hair, and so much makeup, I’m surprised it wasn’t dripping off. She wore tight pink clothes and talked like a ditz.

 

More shocking than her appearance was what she had to say. “I’m a nice Christian girl and I just want a nerdy, geeky kind of guy. But it seems like only jerks are interested in me.”

 

I wanted to shake some sense into her! You really think a nerdy, geeky kind of guy would even approach you let alone ask you out? And, I don’t even know you, but they way you dress and talk screams, “I’m easy!”

 

The best way to dress to impress a guy is to don’t. Don’t try too hard. Don’t be consumed with it. Be modest, be yourself, and be patient.

 

What are some of your favorite things that you wear that your perfect guy will just fall in love with?

Related articles

• The Summer Of Skirts (fightlikegirls.wordpress.com)
• You are what you wear (theshenpen.wordpress.com)
• Modest is Honest (mistygatlin.wordpress.com)

Dress To Impress

What do you think about as you get ready in the morning?

 

Do you dress to try and look skinner? Look fashionable? Do you copy things you see in magazines or just throw something together? Do you get dressed thinking about who you will see and what they will think about it (hence the sweatpants and a stained shirt when you are planning on staying home all day)?

 

We all care about our appearance. It’s why we spend so much money on clothes, hair products, and accessories. It’s why we have to add an extra thirty minutes into our morning get-ready routine. It’s why we twirl in front of mirrors, trying to get a glimpse of every possible angle, making sure we look good from all sides.

 

But how much care and attention is too much?

 

“…women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness – with good works.” – 1 Timothy 2:9-10

 

First off, this isn’t a theological debate about whether or not Christian women can wear jewelry or braid their hair. I’ll leave that to the Bible School nerds with more time on their hands.

 

But what we can take from this passage is that, as much as we are concerned with our outward appearance, we need to be concerned with what people see us doing and how we are living.

 

Do you wake up in the morning and think about putting on self-control? When people look at you during the day, do they see good works that are the result of godliness?

 

I want to be more concerned with my spiritual state each day than I am about what I’m wearing. I want people to notice the things I am doing for the Kingdom of God more than they notice my outfits. I want the love of Jesus to outshine my bling.

 

How much care and attention is too much? Instead, why don’t you ask yourself, “How much do I care about Jesus shining through me? What can I do to make that more important than what I’m wearing?”

 

What ways have you found to clothe yourself with godliness each day?

 

Related articles

• Clothed in Courage (jalapenosandchocolate.com)
• Getting Dressed (mistygatlin.wordpress.com)

The Summer Of Skirts

With Memorial Day in the rearview mirror, that means it’s officially summer! Well, by some standards. My neck of the woods is still in the 50’s and 60’s.

 

Regardless, summer speaks of fun, sun, and heat. And, of course, pulling out all those cute summer clothes. But, as kick butt girls know, the word “cute” should be struck from our vocabularies. What’s “cute” to us is hot, sexy, and tempting for the guys around us.

 

So how is a tough girl supposed to dress for summer in a way that is modest, yet not stifling amidst the heat?

 

Let me suggest to you, ladies, that you join me in declaring this the summer of skirts! Now, please understand, I’m not motioning for a move to shapeless denim that looks like something from Little House on The Prairie. I’m thinking of something a little more like this…

Or this…

Or long dresses like these…

(though Misha Barton could use a little more on top, don’t you think?)

 

So, why the summer of skirts?

 

Skits are feminine

That whole “I want to be cute!” thing we struggle with? Skirts are elegant, feminine, and scream I’m a girl!

 

Skirts are cool

Literally. If you’re worried about overheating in jeans or capris this summer, skirts are a great way to cover up, yet keep your body cool.

 

Skirts can be modest

I had to add the “can be” in there because, of course, there are skirts and dresses that are far from modest (Seriously, Misha! How much do you need to show?) But, for the most part, they cover up what needs to be covered up to be a modest kick butt kind of girl

 

Skirts are cheap

You can find them almost anywhere for any price in your budget. They’re a great thing to buy used, too. Or maybe this is the summer you get super domestic and try to make your own. If you do, let me know…I can barely sew on a button

 

Skirts are much better than the alternative

Always keep in mind that, when you are showing skin, that is where guys are going to look. Arms. Back. Stomach. Legs. When you wear short shorts, guys stare at your legs…and follow them up. Skirts cover all that up in a chic way that displays just enough to celebrate summer (i.e. adorable pedicure laden toes) but keep attention away from those tempting areas.

 

So, what do you say? Care to join me in the summer of skirts? If you’re not a skirt person, let me challenge to try one. Just one flowy skirt. They can be worn with any kind of top – even t-shirts. You can wear them with sneakers, sandals, or heels. They aren’t super practical for hiking or manual labor, but are fine for everything else.

 

Will you give it a try?

Related articles

• My Summer Fashion Must-Have’s (fashiometics.wordpress.com)
• Pleats (fashionhogger.wordpress.com)
• How to wear this season’s maxi skirts (fitnessfoodandfashion.com)

Hot or Not? (Part 2)

Image via Wikipedia

Read part 1 here

So, Kindra gave away half her wardrobe. We already talked about the heart of it – the fact that the way we dress shows that our hearts are already spoken for.

 

But there is another very practical reason that modesty matters.

 

Boys.

 

In the book For Young Women Only (which I highly recommend for absolutely everyone!) it states that whatever girls wear, guys are picturing you in about ten percent less.

 

Don’t believe me? Ask a guy friend.

 

That’s what happened to Kindra. As she was writing a Bible study for the middle school girls she hangs out with, she asked a guy friend what was modest and what wasn’t. The answer stunned her. It’s not like she was an immodest dresser. But she was convicted to work even harder at presenting an imagine that was pure, godly, and wouldn’t make a guy start thinking things about her that he shouldn’t.

 

So here’s a list of things this seventeen year old guy said weren’t okay. And these are things aside from the obvious of shirts that show cleavage or your stomach and shorts that are super short.

 

Yoga pants: They’re great for working out in. But wearing them in public? Let’s be honest, you know your butt looks great in them. So does every guy who sees you walk by.

 

Skinny jeans: There’s skinny jeans and then there’s skinny jeans. Pants shouldn’t look like they are painted on. Want to be extra careful? Wear a shirt long enough to cover up your butt.

 

Jeans that cause muffin top: Now, this one hits close to home for me because I don’t exactly have a stick figure. But if you have to suck in your stomach to button your jeans and, as a result, have a ring of tummy draping over the tops of your pants, they’re too small. Remember, it’s just a number. The size of your jeans doesn’t define you.

 

Shirts that show your bra: For sure a summer problem. This same guy that Kindra asked about modesty once asked me, “When did it become okay for girls to show their bra straps?” Again, remember that whole thing about guys picturing you in ten percent less than what you are wearing.

 

Shirts with words across the chest or pants with words across the butt: It’s like having a giant neon side that says, “Look at my boobs! Check out my butt!”

 

Bathing suits: Whether or not you look hot in a bathing suit (I am a not), those might be the worst inventions in the world when it comes to protecting guys and their eyes. So what can we do? Tank tops (not white) and those awesome board shorts.

 

The word “cute” isn’t in a guy’s vocabulary. What we often think of as cute, young guys think of as hot and sexy.

 

So what’s a tough girl to do?

 

Don’t wear things that might cause a guy to lust. I know the list is long. But kick butt girls are all about sacrifices for the greater good. Yes, lust is their problem. However, we can’t control them. Yet there is someone we can control:

 

“Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.” – Romans 14:13

Do take steps to ensure that your wardrobe is modest. Camis are not okay shirts by themselves. But they are great under other shirts. Layers are your best friend. Scarves are fantastic and a stylish way to cover things up. When in doubt, go loose over tight. Use the mirror to look at yourself from every angle: front back, bending over. What can you see?

 

And the best rule of thumb: if it isn’t for sale, don’t put it on the menu.

 

Hot or Not? (Part 1)

This is Kindra (the one with the icky, sticky hands), a junior from our youth group who loves mentoring younger girls, acting, and singing. Kindra is pretty, super bubbly, and one of the nicest girls you’ll ever meet.

 

She also might be slightly insane.

 

You see, this weekend Kindra went to her closet, grabbed about half her clothes, and gave them away.

 

Yes, you read that right. Half.

And why did Kindra do something so drastic? It’s a little something we like to call: conviction.

 

On Wednesday, I’ll write more about the specifics about the conversation. But today, let’s talk about why modesty is a must for every kick butt girl. Yeah, it has to do with not making guys stumble. But there’s something so much more.

 

Let me ask you, what’s going through your head when you get dressed in the morning? Are you imagining who you’re going to see and what they will think about what you’re wearing? Do you size up certain areas of your body, hoping to look “cute”?

 

Why is all that so important to us? When it comes to modesty, you’ve probably heard the verse:

 

“Do not let your adorning be external – the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear – but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” – 1 Peter 3:3-4

It essentially tells us what not to wear and what to work on.

 

But again – why?

 

That last part of the verse really hints at it. So does this:

 

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of God.” – Galatians 1:10

Why does modesty matter? It’s the same way that the way we spend our money matters. Or the same way that the way we spent our time matters.

 

It shows where our heart is.

 

It shows that we don’t need the approval of our friends or the attention of guys to make us happy – we have Jesus. It shows that we care more about what God thinks of us than what the culture thinks of us.

 

Modesty matters because God tells us that His approval is all that we need. And, when we trust that, it shows in the way we dress.

 

So take a look at your outfit. Take a look in your closet. Do your clothes reflect a kick butt girl who is totally satisfied with the ravishing love of her Savior? Or a girl who wants to fit in and get attention?