Proverbs 31 – Kick Butt Edition

A kick butt tough girl who can find?

She is far more precious than the latest iPhone.

The heart of all guys trusts in her

Because she dresses with modest style.

She does them good and not harm

Treating them like brothers in Christ.

She works hard at everything she does

And helps out without being asked

She is like that awesome book series turned into a movie

Everyone wants to see her

She rises even when she’s tired

And cares more about spending time with Jesus than sleeping in

She isn’t wasteful with money

And prides herself on being content with less

She isn’t all about “stuff”

And would much rather give than receive

When she starts something, she finishes

Unless it’s a craft that got way too hard and out of control

She opens her hand to whoever needs it

And could care less about popularity

She is not afraid of photos, Facebooks, and text messages

Because her life isn’t ruled by them.

She covers herself while swimming in public

And can bend over while wearing shorts and not be embarrassed.

Her reputation is spread all over school

Of being kind, generous, joyful, and fun.

She makes friends and keeps them

Even when they drive her crazy.

Strength and dignity are her clothing

She could take out a ninja without breaking a sweat.

She opens her mouth with wisdom

And actually knows what she’s talking about.

She looks well in the eyes of her household

Because she’s also kick butt to her parents and siblings.

Her friends rise up and call her blessed

Because she’s there for them, keeps them accountable, and is a good friend.

Many girls have done excellently,

But you surpass them all.

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,

but a kick butt tough girl who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Give her a hug, a pat on the back, or a finger sizzle

Because she makes Jesus smile by how she lives.

 

Is Faith A Private Matter?

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” – Hebrews 11:1

Have you ever noticed that this amazing verse that speaks of unshakeable trust and belief in Someone we can’t see sometimes gets used as a crutch for nominal, lukewarm, slightly nauseating Christians.

“Sure, I believe in God. I go to church on Sundays.”

“I believe, just like you. Only…I’m not so loud and annoying about it.”

“My relationship with God is private and personal. I don’t need to put it on display for the world to see.”

Um…yes you do.

Faith begins with an assurance and belief in Someone that we can’t see. But real, biblical, kick-butt faith doesn’t stop there. It can’t stop there.

“But someone will say, ‘You have faith and I have works.’ Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works…For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.” – James 2:18,26 (emphasis mine)

Works don’t make you a Christian. If that were the case, Angelina Jolie and her rainbow family would be ranking with Mother Theresa at the feet of Jesus. (Sorry all you Brangelina fans out there…and Mama T fans…) It has to start with assurance in Jesus as the only God and one true Savior.

But you can’t have faith and not have works. You can’t have a secret, private faith that nobody knows about and it still be real, true, Bible based faith.

“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” – John 13:35

Faith isn’t a private matter. People should know what you believe based on how you act. You are light. You are salt. You are a city shining on a hill.

Question: Do people know what you believe? Is there an area in your life where your faith is more hidden than others? Where can you do a better job putting your faith on display?

Related articles

• Importance of Faith (walkonwater727.wordpress.com)
• Defining Faith – By: Jon W. (livesharp.org)
• Faith – 2 Sides of a Coin (quiettimesamz.wordpress.com)

When It’s Good To Have Mean Friends

I am a mean friend.

There. I said it. And you know what? I’m not ashamed.

Just yesterday, I was talking with a group of girls when one of them shared about why they weren’t doing Bible in a year. Now, I’m not some religious nut who thinks everyone needs to do it. But her excuses for not doing it were lame.

So I told her so. Actually, I specifically called her a sluggard. Okay, I might have even pointed at her and yelled it for all of Starbucks to hear.

And you know what? I was right. More importantly, she knew it.

We all needs friends like that. We all need to be friends like that. Something that sets us apart as tough, kick butt girls is that we tell it like it is. We point out the truth with confidence and gusto, knowing it might rub someone the wrong way, but knowing that sometimes you need to get rubbed the wrong way.

Call it tough love. Call it honesty. We may not like it all the time but, when we really think about it, we know it’s something we need and it’s something we need to do.

“Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth?” – Galatians 4:16

“Better is an open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” – Proverbs 27:5-6

You need mean friends. You need to be a mean friend. It’s the nicest, kindest, godliest thing you can do.

Question: When have you had a friend speak a hard truth to you in love? Have you ever done the same thing to a friend? Do you have a friend right now who needs to hear some hard truth from you? How can you share in a loving way?

Related articles

• How Can I Tell A Friend She’s Vain? (fightlikegirls.wordpress.com)
• Sluggard (mitchjaeger.wordpress.com)

The Best of How To Fight Like A Girl: 3

Image via Wikipedia

Good Things Come

With all of our gumption and gusto, we as kick butt girls have a problem. Well, we have lots of problems J But this is a problem all girls share. And it’s called waiting.

We hate it.

We live in a world where we want what we want and we want it now. If I don’t know the answer to the question, I Google it or text ChaCha. If I’m hungry, I speed through a drive thru or pop something in the microwave. OnDemand, Amazon, and about a million other things have made it so we can have what we want almost instantly.

So what if we can’t get it?

We pout. We cry. We get angry, frustrated, and wonder why in the world things aren’t working out how we want.

This last weekend, one of the high schools in my area had Homecoming. A super fun time of dressing up, going out to eat, and maybe even celebrating a first date.

But then there are those kick butt girls who didn’t get asked. Who sit at home and wonder, “What in the world is wrong with me? Where’s my night out? Where’s my Prince Charming?”

Let me tell you something, kick butt girl: Prince Charming isn’t in high school. He isn’t dating a cheerleader or starring in the school play.

He’s hidden inside those guys roaming your halls. And what’s going to bring him out? Not a short skirt or a flirty move.

It’s waiting. Waiting for him to grow up. Waiting for him to mature. Waiting for him to figure out who he is and who God has called him to be.

So the next time you feel yourself drifting down the “I hate being single” highway, stop. U-turn. And remember that your Prince Charming is out there.

And the longer you wait, the more charming he will be. And that’s what you deserve.

This blog was originally posted on October 4, 2010

The Best of How To Fight Like A Girl: 2

Image via Wikipedia

 

Hot Or Not Part 2

Read part 1 here

So, Kindra gave away half her wardrobe. We already talked about the heart of it – the fact that the way we dress shows that our hearts are already spoken for.

But there is another very practical reason that modesty matters.

Boys.

In the book For Young Women Only (which I highly recommend for absolutely everyone!) it states that whatever girls wear, guys are picturing you in about ten percent less.

Don’t believe me? Ask a guy friend.

That’s what happened to Kindra. As she was writing a Bible study for the middle school girls she hangs out with, she asked a guy friend what was modest and what wasn’t. The answer stunned her. It’s not like she was an immodest dresser. But she was convicted to work even harder at presenting an imagine that was pure, godly, and wouldn’t make a guy start thinking things about her that he shouldn’t.

So here’s a list of things this seventeen year old guy said weren’t okay. And these are things aside from the obvious of shirts that show cleavage or your stomach and shorts that are super short.

Yoga pants: They’re great for working out in. But wearing them in public? Let’s be honest, you know your butt looks great in them. So does every guy who sees you walk by.

Skinny jeans: There’s skinny jeans and then there’s skinny jeans. Pants shouldn’t look like they are painted on. Want to be extra careful? Wear a shirt long enough to cover up your butt.

Jeans that cause muffin top: Now, this one hits close to home for me because I don’t exactly have a stick figure. But if you have to suck in your stomach to button your jeans and, as a result, have a ring of tummy draping over the tops of your pants, they’re too small. Remember, it’s just a number. The size of your jeans doesn’t define you.

Shirts that show your bra: For sure a summer problem. This same guy that Kindra asked about modesty once asked me, “When did it become okay for girls to show their bra straps?” Again, remember that whole thing about guys picturing you in ten percent less than what you are wearing.

Shirts with words across the chest or pants with words across the butt: It’s like having a giant neon side that says, “Look at my boobs! Check out my butt!”

Bathing suits: Whether or not you look hot in a bathing suit (I am a not), those might be the worst inventions in the world when it comes to protecting guys and their eyes. So what can we do? Tank tops (not white) and those awesome board shorts.

The word “cute” isn’t in a guy’s vocabulary. What we often think of as cute, young guys think of as hot and sexy.

So what’s a tough girl to do?

Don’t wear things that might cause a guy to lust. I know the list is long. But kick butt girls are all about sacrifices for the greater good. Yes, lust is their problem. However, we can’t control them. Yet there is someone we can control:

“Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.” – Romans 14:13

 

Do take steps to ensure that your wardrobe is modest. Camis are not okay shirts by themselves. But they are great under other shirts. Layers are your best friend. Scarves are fantastic and a stylish way to cover things up. When in doubt, go loose over tight. Use the mirror to look at yourself from every angle: front back, bending over. What can you see?

And the best rule of thumb: if it isn’t for sale, don’t put it on the menu.

The Best of How To Fight Like A Girl: 1

 

So, as you read this, I am walking where Jesus walked in Israel! A life-long dream is coming true right NOW!!! Needless to say, I don’t exactly have internet access. So, for the next two weeks, enjoy a re-post of some of the most popular blogs from How To Fight Like A Girl.

 

Hot Or Not (Part 1)

This is Kindra (the one with the icky, sticky hands), a junior from our youth group who loves mentoring younger girls, acting, and singing. Kindra is pretty, super bubbly, and one of the nicest girls you’ll ever meet.

She also might be slightly insane.

You see, this weekend Kindra went to her closet, grabbed about half her clothes, and gave them away.

Yes, you read that right. Half.

 

And why did Kindra do something so drastic? It’s a little something we like to call: conviction.

On Wednesday, I’ll write more about the specifics about the conversation. But today, let’s talk about why modesty is a must for every kick butt girl. Yeah, it has to do with not making guys stumble. But there’s something so much more.

Let me ask you, what’s going through your head when you get dressed in the morning? Are you imagining who you’re going to see and what they will think about what you’re wearing? Do you size up certain areas of your body, hoping to look “cute”?

Why is all that so important to us? When it comes to modesty, you’ve probably heard the verse:

“Do not let your adorning be external – the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear – but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” – 1 Peter 3:3-4

 

It essentially tells us what not to wear and what to work on.

But again – why?

That last part of the verse really hints at it. So does this:

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of God.” – Galatians 1:10

 

Why does modesty matter? It’s the same way that the way we spend our money matters. Or the same way that the way we spent our time matters.

It shows where our heart is.

It shows that we don’t need the approval of our friends or the attention of guys to make us happy – we have Jesus. It shows that we care more about what God thinks of us than what the culture thinks of us.

Modesty matters because God tells us that His approval is all that we need. And, when we trust that, it shows in the way we dress.

So take a look at your outfit. Take a look in your closet. Do your clothes reflect a kick butt girl who is totally satisfied with the ravishing love of her Savior? Or a girl who wants to fit in and get attention?

This blog was originally posted on January 24, 2011

How To Become The Best Version of You This Decade

Read part 1 here
Read part 2 here
Read part 3 here

The last two weeks, we’ve talked about becoming the best you that God wants you to be. It’s a challenge to do something as opposed to getting by by doing nothing. We talked about making changes that matter and changes that stick this month and this year. Now it’s big picture time.

What does it look like to make an amazing change this decade?
1) Be strategic.
Break through the myth of adolescence that says this is your time in life to goof off, do whatever you want, and grow up later. You are capable of amazing things now, so come up with a plan and the steps to make it happen. BUT, when you do, don’t get it into your head that you are special for doing it. You’re just being what God wants every person your age to be.

2) Be focused.
What do you want for your future? What can you do to help prepare yourself for the future right now? Keep big goals in mind and use every day to bring you closer and closer to getting there.

3) Don’t be paralyzed.
Doing hard things and thinking about the future can feel overwhelming and scary. You may doubt that you are capable or wonder if it’s really what God wants for you. It’s not about some big booming voice telling you exactly what to do. Daily submission to God will get you to the heart of God’s will. The more intimately you know Him, the more you will know His will for your life. So keep moving forward! Step outside your comfort zone!

I don’t know about you, tough girl, but these are some of the most kick butt ideas I’ve ever heard! So simple, yet so incredible. So practical, yet so life-changing.

Question: How have these past few weeks challenged and inspired you? What are some differences you hope to see or are already seeing? What big things do you want for your future that you can prepare for today?

If you haven’t already, stop by The Rebelution. I promise, it will be worth your time!

How To Become The Best Version of You This Year

Read part 1 here
Read part 2 here

This is continuing our conversation about making change that matters and helping it stick. First we talked about the need to do something as opposed to coasting through life by doing nothing. Then, it was all about making change that sticks this month. Now we’re looking a little broader.

What does it look like to make an amazing change this year?
1) Commit to doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.
You can’t expect to be a world changer if you can’t even make up your bed. So commit to keeping your room clean, helping out around the house, doing your homework every night, and reading your Bible every day. You have to be disciplined in little things in order to be trusted with big things.

2)Say ‘no’ to conflicting obligations.

“…Let us lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” – Hebrews 12:1

God doesn’t give us conflicting obligations. If you find yourself harried, exhausted, and stressed, you’ve probably taken on something that you need to let go of. God give us enough time and energy to do what HE wants us to do.

3)After you’ve done 1 and 2, look for opportunities to grow and be challenged.
It’s a good thing to challenge yourself, step outside of your comfort, and do hard things. Just make sure the rest of your life is in check first and that you’ve gotten into the habit of doing not-so-hard things well.

Question: What ordinary things can you do extraordinarily? What things might God be calling you to let go of? What might He be calling you to pick up?

Just a friendly reminder to check out The Rebelution!

How To Become The Best Version of You This Month

Read part 1 here

If you’ve been as convicted as I have about wanting your life to be different, you’ve start thinking about change. The brothers at the Do Hard Things conference gave some real practical application about how to make that happen and I just had to share it with all you kick butt ladies.

What does it look like to make an amazing change this month?
1) Find other like-minded people.
Surround yourself with friends who will encourage you in the changes you want to make and who will keep you accountable. Don’t underestimate the power of Christian fellowship and friendship.

2) Make friends with heroes and dead people.

“Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” – 1  Corinthians 11:1

Have a mentor or two. Someone older and wiser who you can ask all sorts of questions to and who can help lead and guide you in your Christian walk. And the power of classic books is amazing! You can spend hours a day with amazing people like C.S. Lewis and John Calvin.

3) Change something.
Make it a structural change. You want to read more, but you find yourself watching TV? Get rid of it! Or hide it in a closet. You want to have better friends? Make tons and tons of plans with your Christian friends so you don’t have time for the people you’re trying to let go of. Just physically do something to help you with your change.

Question: Which one of these things speaks to you the most? What are you going to do this week to make them happen?

And here is my continued plug for The Rebelution – the birth place of these ideas and a great resource for you.

Related articles

• What I’m Reading Now – Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis (jmcartee.wordpress.com)

How To Become The Best Version Of You

This past weekend, I got to go to the Do Hard Things conference in Portland, OR. (If you don’t know about Do Hard Things, click here to read the book review I posted a few weeks ago). It was an awesome day filled with tons of info and challenges.

One of the things that stood out the most was one of the brothers who said, “People think you’re a good kid if you do nothing. You don’t do drugs. You don’t sleep around. You don’t fail school. You don’t do anything…and that makes you a good kid.”

Is that you, tough girl? Are you coasting through life, considering yourself a “good” person because, in comparison to everyone else around you, you’re not doing the “bad” things they’re doing? Are you a good person because you’re known for doing nothing?

Let me challenge you, girl – DO SOMETHING! Don’t just get by with avoiding sin. Get up, move, and turn your “good” life into something amazing and extraordinary.

The verse of the conference was that typical youth verse:

“Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers and example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” – 1 Timothy 4:12

 

Did you hear that? You don’t set example by doing nothing and avoiding things. You set an example by doing something!
Setting an example in speech by doing nothing looks like not cursing, not gossiping, not talking back, and not complaining.

Setting an example in speech by doing something looks like encouraging people, giving people Bible verses, and standing up for truth.

Setting an example in conduct by doing nothing looks like not doing “bad” things like drinking, drugs, sex, skipping school…the list goes on and on.

Setting an example in conduct by doing something looks like being generous, doing things for other people, working as hard as you can and then some…the list goes on and on.

Setting an example in love by doing nothing looks like not being mean and not neglecting your responsibilities

Setting an example in love by doing something looks like going out of your way to be kind, demonstrating selflessness and sacrifice, serving others, being a good listener…and initiating those things, not waiting for people to ask you.

Setting an example in purity by doing nothing like like not dressing like a slut, not having sex, and not watching inappropriate things.

Setting an example in purity by doing something looks like encouraging your friends to dress more conservatively, promoting things that have a pure and positive message, working at having relationships that celebrate purity in every single area.

Question: What are you known for: doing nothing, or doing something? What can you do to do more?

For the next two weeks, I’ll share some of the practical ideas they had to make this kind of stuff not only happen but stick.

PS – Alex and Brett Harris have an awesome website called The Rebelution. Check it out for more great ways to do hard things.

Related articles

• Moody Publishers’ Blogger Review: “Uncompromising” by Hannah Farver (onedesertrose.wordpress.com)
• We have to embrace REBELUTION (reinehere.wordpress.com)
• 1st Timothy 4:12 (youthofeternity.wordpress.com)