How To Become The Best Version of You This Decade

Read part 1 here
Read part 2 here
Read part 3 here

The last two weeks, we’ve talked about becoming the best you that God wants you to be. It’s a challenge to do something as opposed to getting by by doing nothing. We talked about making changes that matter and changes that stick this month and this year. Now it’s big picture time.

What does it look like to make an amazing change this decade?
1) Be strategic.
Break through the myth of adolescence that says this is your time in life to goof off, do whatever you want, and grow up later. You are capable of amazing things now, so come up with a plan and the steps to make it happen. BUT, when you do, don’t get it into your head that you are special for doing it. You’re just being what God wants every person your age to be.

2) Be focused.
What do you want for your future? What can you do to help prepare yourself for the future right now? Keep big goals in mind and use every day to bring you closer and closer to getting there.

3) Don’t be paralyzed.
Doing hard things and thinking about the future can feel overwhelming and scary. You may doubt that you are capable or wonder if it’s really what God wants for you. It’s not about some big booming voice telling you exactly what to do. Daily submission to God will get you to the heart of God’s will. The more intimately you know Him, the more you will know His will for your life. So keep moving forward! Step outside your comfort zone!

I don’t know about you, tough girl, but these are some of the most kick butt ideas I’ve ever heard! So simple, yet so incredible. So practical, yet so life-changing.

Question: How have these past few weeks challenged and inspired you? What are some differences you hope to see or are already seeing? What big things do you want for your future that you can prepare for today?

If you haven’t already, stop by The Rebelution. I promise, it will be worth your time!

How To Become The Best Version of You This Year

Read part 1 here
Read part 2 here

This is continuing our conversation about making change that matters and helping it stick. First we talked about the need to do something as opposed to coasting through life by doing nothing. Then, it was all about making change that sticks this month. Now we’re looking a little broader.

What does it look like to make an amazing change this year?
1) Commit to doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.
You can’t expect to be a world changer if you can’t even make up your bed. So commit to keeping your room clean, helping out around the house, doing your homework every night, and reading your Bible every day. You have to be disciplined in little things in order to be trusted with big things.

2)Say ‘no’ to conflicting obligations.

“…Let us lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” – Hebrews 12:1

God doesn’t give us conflicting obligations. If you find yourself harried, exhausted, and stressed, you’ve probably taken on something that you need to let go of. God give us enough time and energy to do what HE wants us to do.

3)After you’ve done 1 and 2, look for opportunities to grow and be challenged.
It’s a good thing to challenge yourself, step outside of your comfort, and do hard things. Just make sure the rest of your life is in check first and that you’ve gotten into the habit of doing not-so-hard things well.

Question: What ordinary things can you do extraordinarily? What things might God be calling you to let go of? What might He be calling you to pick up?

Just a friendly reminder to check out The Rebelution!

How To Become The Best Version of You This Month

Read part 1 here

If you’ve been as convicted as I have about wanting your life to be different, you’ve start thinking about change. The brothers at the Do Hard Things conference gave some real practical application about how to make that happen and I just had to share it with all you kick butt ladies.

What does it look like to make an amazing change this month?
1) Find other like-minded people.
Surround yourself with friends who will encourage you in the changes you want to make and who will keep you accountable. Don’t underestimate the power of Christian fellowship and friendship.

2) Make friends with heroes and dead people.

“Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” – 1  Corinthians 11:1

Have a mentor or two. Someone older and wiser who you can ask all sorts of questions to and who can help lead and guide you in your Christian walk. And the power of classic books is amazing! You can spend hours a day with amazing people like C.S. Lewis and John Calvin.

3) Change something.
Make it a structural change. You want to read more, but you find yourself watching TV? Get rid of it! Or hide it in a closet. You want to have better friends? Make tons and tons of plans with your Christian friends so you don’t have time for the people you’re trying to let go of. Just physically do something to help you with your change.

Question: Which one of these things speaks to you the most? What are you going to do this week to make them happen?

And here is my continued plug for The Rebelution – the birth place of these ideas and a great resource for you.

Related articles

• What I’m Reading Now – Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis (jmcartee.wordpress.com)

How To Become The Best Version Of You

This past weekend, I got to go to the Do Hard Things conference in Portland, OR. (If you don’t know about Do Hard Things, click here to read the book review I posted a few weeks ago). It was an awesome day filled with tons of info and challenges.

One of the things that stood out the most was one of the brothers who said, “People think you’re a good kid if you do nothing. You don’t do drugs. You don’t sleep around. You don’t fail school. You don’t do anything…and that makes you a good kid.”

Is that you, tough girl? Are you coasting through life, considering yourself a “good” person because, in comparison to everyone else around you, you’re not doing the “bad” things they’re doing? Are you a good person because you’re known for doing nothing?

Let me challenge you, girl – DO SOMETHING! Don’t just get by with avoiding sin. Get up, move, and turn your “good” life into something amazing and extraordinary.

The verse of the conference was that typical youth verse:

“Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers and example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” – 1 Timothy 4:12

 

Did you hear that? You don’t set example by doing nothing and avoiding things. You set an example by doing something!
Setting an example in speech by doing nothing looks like not cursing, not gossiping, not talking back, and not complaining.

Setting an example in speech by doing something looks like encouraging people, giving people Bible verses, and standing up for truth.

Setting an example in conduct by doing nothing looks like not doing “bad” things like drinking, drugs, sex, skipping school…the list goes on and on.

Setting an example in conduct by doing something looks like being generous, doing things for other people, working as hard as you can and then some…the list goes on and on.

Setting an example in love by doing nothing looks like not being mean and not neglecting your responsibilities

Setting an example in love by doing something looks like going out of your way to be kind, demonstrating selflessness and sacrifice, serving others, being a good listener…and initiating those things, not waiting for people to ask you.

Setting an example in purity by doing nothing like like not dressing like a slut, not having sex, and not watching inappropriate things.

Setting an example in purity by doing something looks like encouraging your friends to dress more conservatively, promoting things that have a pure and positive message, working at having relationships that celebrate purity in every single area.

Question: What are you known for: doing nothing, or doing something? What can you do to do more?

For the next two weeks, I’ll share some of the practical ideas they had to make this kind of stuff not only happen but stick.

PS – Alex and Brett Harris have an awesome website called The Rebelution. Check it out for more great ways to do hard things.

Related articles

• Moody Publishers’ Blogger Review: “Uncompromising” by Hannah Farver (onedesertrose.wordpress.com)
• We have to embrace REBELUTION (reinehere.wordpress.com)
• 1st Timothy 4:12 (youthofeternity.wordpress.com)

How To Be “Just Friends”

Image by Center for Jewish History, NYC via Flickr

 

If you’re a single kick butt girl, chances are you struggle with this issue when it comes to your guy friends. It’s really hard to not want more with one of them (or, in many cases, more than one of them). You don’t want to like them, but you just can’t help yourself! Here are some tips to help keep your head and heart in check.

Avoid alone time together
When you spend time alone with a guy friend, he seems perfect. Every word he says is deep and godly. He’s a perfect gentlemen. You suddenly forget all those glaring faults that he exhibits when he’s in large groups. If you find yourself falling for him every time it’s just you and him, avoid those times! Make sure you’re always in groups. Let a girl friend know about your struggles so she can be your third when you need it. And never let him drive you home at night. That’s when girls are at their weakest

Don’t make him out to be better than he is
No guy is perfect. If you think he is, you’re kidding yourself. This might seem harsh, but think about that guy you are struggling with and think of his faults. It will really help bring you back to earth. Be real with yourself and recognize the ways you build him up in your mind.

Don’t make him out to be worse than he is
In an incredibly elementary school fashion, I’ve seen way too many girls try and combat their feelings by bad mouthing the guy behind his back. Not only will that not help your raging emotions, it’s mean. So don’t. In fact, avoid talking about him all together. That’s a pretty safe bet to guard your heart

Focus on your girl friends
If you find yourself constantly wanting to hang out with a guy you’re trying to be just friends with, replace it with investing in your girl friends. Text them instead. Initiate time with them instead. Make plans with them instead.

Keep conversations light
Girls fall head over heels for a guy who talks about things like sanctification and predestination with passion. If every time you talk to him, you turn to goo as soon as he busts out some systematic theology, avoid those deep conversations. That’s not to say that you can’t talk about your faith. But keep it light. Recognize your weak spots and protect yourself.

Keep conversations bright
The worst time to hang out with a guy is after ten o’clock at night. Your defenses are down and suddenly everything he says and does has your mind whirling with romantic possibilities. So confine yourself to spending time with him during the day.

Stop the day dreams
If you find your mind drifting to a particular guy that you are fighting feelings for, say a quick prayer for him, then move your thoughts to something else. Pick a verse that you will work on memorizing. Pick some other people to pray for. Text a friend. Read a chapter of a book. Don’t let your mind and heart dwell on him.

Treat him like a friend
Sounds simple, right? But it’s a huge thing! Don’t look at him as a potential husband or boyfriend. Don’t doodle your initials together. Don’t talk to other people about him like the two of you have a super special relationship. Treat him like a friend.

Be patient
Sure, something may happen in the future. But don’t hold your breath. If he’s the guy for you, he will take the first step. He will make things happen. Don’t rush God’s timing. Be patient. Enjoy friendships. Don’t expect more out of him because there never may be…and that’s not a bad thing.

Question: What are some things you’ve found yourself doing that make it harder to be “just friends” with a guy? What are some things you do to help you protect your heart?

The Daily Set List For Finding Joy

Image by koalazymonkey via Flickr

 

Are you convicted yet about seeking out joy and working hard to make it happen? (If not, read my post from Monday and maybe you will be.)

 

What are some ways that you can make it happen? If joy had a daily set list, it might look something like this:

 

Set your alarm

Okay, maybe you’re sick of me saying this blog after blog. But, tough girl, it’s the truth! God has blessed us with twenty-four hours a day. Six to eight of those are spent sleeping. But we need to do awesome things with the rest of them! Setting your alarm and getting up at a decent time (I’d say between 8 and 9am…7 if you’re super tough) is the best way to start off your joy seeking day.

 

Set goals

What do you want to get done this summer? If you haven’t made goals already, you should. (Can I make a plug for the Tough Girl Summer Challenge here? It’s not too late to start!) Don’t waste this time. Here’s a quick tip: Write your goals down! You are far more likely to follow through on something if you write it down.

 

Set a to-do list

Each day, write down what you want to do. A kick-butt girl I know starts off every morning with getting a list of chores from her mom. She does them right away, then has the rest of the day to do whatever she wants. Write down what you need to get done that day, then do it! Check them off and revel in the beauty of responsibility and the wonderful feeling of accomplishment.

 

Set time apart for Jesus

The first thing on my daily to-do list is reading my Bible. Before I check my email. Before I turn on the TV. Before I do anything, I try and read my Bible. I’m certainly not perfect every day, but I can guarantee that your day will feel a whole lot more joyful if you start it with Jesus.

 

Set your DVR

Seems silly, right? Well, how many of your days are sucked up by watching junk TV? Set your DVR to record one or two shows a day that you want to watch. Watch them only when your to-do list is all checked off. Save your brain cells from the destruction of vegging out on the couch. If you don’t have DVR, then make it a goal to not turn on the TV until what you really want to watch is on.

 

Set dates

Schedule hang out times with your friends ahead of time. In face, make Monday McKenzie day, Tuesday Tabitha day, Wednesday Whitney day (you know what I mean). It can be disappointing when you try and make spur of the moment plans and no one is available. It can also be disappointing when you get together with your friends and suddenly realize you have nothing to do. So set dates, make plans, and schedule in some fun!

 

Set your mind on things above

The last and most important part of the set list is the motivation.

 

“Set your minds on things above, not on things that are on earth.” – Colossians 3:2

 

Remember why you are doing the things you are doing. What eternal impact are they having? How are they helping you grow? How are they glorifying Christ?

 

Joy is right at your fingertips. Set your mind to make it happen.

Related articles

• 7 Ways to Have Fun and Joy in Your Life: No Currency Needed (lifeprocoach.wordpress.com)
• Daily Promises – July 15 (sharinhislove.wordpress.com)
• Joy in Everything? (jimf.wordpress.com)

Setting The Bar High

Today, you’re in for a treat. My wonderful and fantastic husband decided he was sick of me having all the fun of blogging to you awesome ladies and wanted to share something that was on his heart. Trust me, this guy knows what he’s talking about.

 

 

Have you ever had one of those teachers that, on the first day of school, you absolutely despised and then, by the end of the school year, you loved?

 

You know- that teacher who, on the first day of school, hands you a forty-seven page syllabus and then proceeds to read it out loud to you as if you couldn’t read for yourself.  By about the third day of syllabi, you want to rip your hair out as you ask yourself, “Why does this stupid teacher have so many rules?”

 

Why do you think it is that you love them by the end of the year?

 

I want to suggest that the reason is something that you probably have never thought of…you need structure! Yep I said it. You actually thrive when the standards are higher and the rules are more structured. I know we love to hate rules and high standards, but our success rate is always higher when we know what is expected of us.

 

Why do you think that is?

 

 

Sin keeps us from desiring to achieve and to pursue the standard of doing right, but God has built into each of us a need and to love the high standard He has set.

 

Look at a few verses from Psalm 119.

 

“…I delight in your law.” (Psalm 119:70)

 

“Let your mercy come to me that I might live, for I delight in your law.” (Psalm 119:77)

 

“I long for your salvation O Lord, your law is my delight.”  (Psalm 119:174)

 

The Christian who is fighting (like a girl…haha) to grow closer to Jesus Christ will actually thrive and succeed better as they live within His very, very high standard, namely the Bible.

 

Do you love the Bible?

 

I don’t mean worship it, because we only worship Jesus.

 

But do you love what it says? Do you love and take great delight in God’s Words?  Have you learned to thrive in the structure that God has given us in His Holy Word?

 

Here is a bit of advice…as you have to learn to give that school teacher a chance to win you over by the end of the year, you need to give God’s Word an opportunity to win you over as well. Delight in His Word…take it in…love the Bible…taste and see!

 

“Oh taste and see that the Lord is good.”  Psalm 34:8

 

-Nate Mazzuca (Crystal’s exceptionally white and awkward husband)

Good Fear

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You’re totally tough and ridiculously kick-butt, right? I mean, that’s why you’re reading this blog. You’re awesome, mighty, and strong, while simultaneously delicate, feminine, and gentle. Bottom line, you’re practically indestructible.

Except when it comes to Facebook.

Do you ever read someone’s status or post and cringe? I know I do. There are certain things that the world just doesn’t need to know, no matter how indestructible you might be. This is one area in life where a little fear and caution go a long way.

The “Hey, Look At Me” Update

Yes, Facebook gives you an option to post where you are at. But, really? You want everyone to know where you are at at all times? It doesn’t matter if you have high privacy settings. Creepers are creepers and internet restrictions mean very little. Do you really want to post about where you are? Why not post after you’ve left?

The “I Want Everyone To Know How I Feel All The Time” Update

Great day. Horrible Day. Blah Day. Whatever happened, you put your emotions out there on display. That’s not being transparent. That’s perpetuating the stereotype that girls are emotional wrecks. Please, do us all a favor – keep the crazy under control.

The “I DNT HAV TME 2 TYP REEL WRDS” Update

Really? You don’t have five extra seconds to make full words so the rest of us don’t have to squint and scratch our heads, trying to decipher your secret code. Unless it really is a secret code. That’s actually kind of cool.

The “Come And Stalk Me” Update

Home alone and I’m bored. Home alone and I’m lonely. Home alone and I’m scared. Apparently, you’re home alone and have no common sense.

The “I Wouldn’t Say It In Real Life But I Will On Facebook” Update

We all know this person. Maybe you are this person. You aren’t brave and outspoken at school or to anyone’s face, but as soon as you sit down at your computer, the ugly truth – complaints about people, opinions, lectures – come out in full force. If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t say it at all.

This isn’t meant to hinder you, tough girl. It’s meant to encourage you to use your kick-butt-ness in as wise, cautious, not scary way as possible.

What’s the worst status update you’ve ever seen?

PS – Don’t forget, you have the chance to win a free copy of my book! Just subscribe if you haven’t already. And, every time you comment, you will be entered into the drawing.

Related articles

• 5 ways Facebook could help you avoid embarrassing situations (thenextweb.com)
• How to: Manage Social Media and Online Distractions (oneforty.com)

Are You Afraid Of the Dark?

Image via Wikipedia

“What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” – Spencer Johnson

 

Topping my list is sky diving, followed by big game hunting. I might throw in traveling around the world, auditioning for American Idol, and surfing as well.

But isn’t it amazing how fear holds us back? Fear of failure. Fear of getting hurt. Fear of embarrassment. Big things, small things, immediate things, and far away things all seem to get hindered by some kind of fear.

So how do we get over it?

The Bible is very clear about what not to fear. And tells us to fear only one thing.

“Fear God.” – 1 Peter 2:17

 

Can I suggest that when we fear all those other things, we aren’t fearing God? It’s like we say, “God, you may be sovereign and totally in control. You may be good and holy. You may be awesome and powerful and mighty and about a billion other things. But this thing right here? This circumstance? This risk? Apparently that fear is greater than my fear of you.”

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

My thing was to write a book. I’d always wanted to. I’m passionate about writing and I’m passionate about Jesus. I felt like He gave me a story to tell.

But it scared me. Scared me to start. Scared me to finish. Scared me to invest time and money into something that might not work out. What if no one read it? What if my writing was no good? What if, what if, what if?

What if I feared God, trusted God, and followed God every time I came face to face with fear?

What if you did? (And this time, it’s not rhetorical) What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

PS – Don’t forget, you have the chance to win a free copy of my book! Just subscribe if you haven’t already. And, every time you comment, you will be entered into the drawing.

Ninja Prayer Warrior

Image via Wikipedia

 

On Monday, I posted about the need to pray and gave a tasty tip about how to do it.  But is there ever a time to act as opposed to a time to simply pray? How can a kick butt girl kick up their prayers a notch?

 

Situation: The super gross couple making out in the hallway

-       A Praying Person would stand on the opposite side of the hallway and pray for the couple – that they would stop being so physical and realize how totally inappropriate they’re are.

-       A Ninja Prayer Warrior would do the same thing, but also carry a spray bottle. When they’re done praying, they would walk to the couple and pretend to sneeze while squirting them at the same time. That will make them stop.

 

Situation: The guy or girl in class who is a disrespectful jerk

-       A Praying Person would lift them up to God, praying that He would convict them of their attitude. They would also pray for an opportunity to talk to the person about their behavior.

-       A Ninja Prayer Warrior would pray, then hide notes everywhere for the jerk to find that simply say I’m watching you. Then they would get a group of people who, throughout the day, would just stare at the person. The paranoia alone will cause them to be silent with fear.

 

Situation: The gabby girl who can’t seem to say anything that isn’t gossipy or hurtful

-       A Praying Person would not only pray that they would stop, but pray for the people that are being hurt by all the talk. They also wouldn’t hesitate to call the person out on their gossip and do whatever they can to avoid those conversations.

-       A Ninja Prayer Warrior would do all of the above, but also start packing pepper spray. Ever time the gossip girl started in on one of her rants, the ninja would stealthy squirt a bit of the spray, causing gossip girl to start  coughing and gagging. Sure, it will probably clear out the room and cause some slight respiratory problems for everyone around, but at least she won’t be talking for a while.

 

Situation: The girl from middle school that you can’t stand because of some horrible thing she did to you that she probably doesn’t even remember

-       A Praying Person would confess to God their bitterness and resentment. Then, they would pray that God would help them to forgive the girl and move on. Finally, they would pray that God would bless that girl – and keep praying until they actually mean it.

-       A Ninja Prayer Warrior would pray all that stuff, then devote themselves to the girl as an indentured servant and smother her with kindness. Carry her backpack. Get her lunch. Wash their car. Carry her up stairs. They would do so many nice things for her, she might change schools just to get away from it all.

 

Are you up for the ninja prayer warrior challenge?