The Best of How To Fight Like A Girl: 3

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Good Things Come

With all of our gumption and gusto, we as kick butt girls have a problem. Well, we have lots of problems J But this is a problem all girls share. And it’s called waiting.

We hate it.

We live in a world where we want what we want and we want it now. If I don’t know the answer to the question, I Google it or text ChaCha. If I’m hungry, I speed through a drive thru or pop something in the microwave. OnDemand, Amazon, and about a million other things have made it so we can have what we want almost instantly.

So what if we can’t get it?

We pout. We cry. We get angry, frustrated, and wonder why in the world things aren’t working out how we want.

This last weekend, one of the high schools in my area had Homecoming. A super fun time of dressing up, going out to eat, and maybe even celebrating a first date.

But then there are those kick butt girls who didn’t get asked. Who sit at home and wonder, “What in the world is wrong with me? Where’s my night out? Where’s my Prince Charming?”

Let me tell you something, kick butt girl: Prince Charming isn’t in high school. He isn’t dating a cheerleader or starring in the school play.

He’s hidden inside those guys roaming your halls. And what’s going to bring him out? Not a short skirt or a flirty move.

It’s waiting. Waiting for him to grow up. Waiting for him to mature. Waiting for him to figure out who he is and who God has called him to be.

So the next time you feel yourself drifting down the “I hate being single” highway, stop. U-turn. And remember that your Prince Charming is out there.

And the longer you wait, the more charming he will be. And that’s what you deserve.

This blog was originally posted on October 4, 2010

How To Become The Best Version Of You

This past weekend, I got to go to the Do Hard Things conference in Portland, OR. (If you don’t know about Do Hard Things, click here to read the book review I posted a few weeks ago). It was an awesome day filled with tons of info and challenges.

One of the things that stood out the most was one of the brothers who said, “People think you’re a good kid if you do nothing. You don’t do drugs. You don’t sleep around. You don’t fail school. You don’t do anything…and that makes you a good kid.”

Is that you, tough girl? Are you coasting through life, considering yourself a “good” person because, in comparison to everyone else around you, you’re not doing the “bad” things they’re doing? Are you a good person because you’re known for doing nothing?

Let me challenge you, girl – DO SOMETHING! Don’t just get by with avoiding sin. Get up, move, and turn your “good” life into something amazing and extraordinary.

The verse of the conference was that typical youth verse:

“Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers and example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” – 1 Timothy 4:12

 

Did you hear that? You don’t set example by doing nothing and avoiding things. You set an example by doing something!
Setting an example in speech by doing nothing looks like not cursing, not gossiping, not talking back, and not complaining.

Setting an example in speech by doing something looks like encouraging people, giving people Bible verses, and standing up for truth.

Setting an example in conduct by doing nothing looks like not doing “bad” things like drinking, drugs, sex, skipping school…the list goes on and on.

Setting an example in conduct by doing something looks like being generous, doing things for other people, working as hard as you can and then some…the list goes on and on.

Setting an example in love by doing nothing looks like not being mean and not neglecting your responsibilities

Setting an example in love by doing something looks like going out of your way to be kind, demonstrating selflessness and sacrifice, serving others, being a good listener…and initiating those things, not waiting for people to ask you.

Setting an example in purity by doing nothing like like not dressing like a slut, not having sex, and not watching inappropriate things.

Setting an example in purity by doing something looks like encouraging your friends to dress more conservatively, promoting things that have a pure and positive message, working at having relationships that celebrate purity in every single area.

Question: What are you known for: doing nothing, or doing something? What can you do to do more?

For the next two weeks, I’ll share some of the practical ideas they had to make this kind of stuff not only happen but stick.

PS – Alex and Brett Harris have an awesome website called The Rebelution. Check it out for more great ways to do hard things.

Related articles

• Moody Publishers’ Blogger Review: “Uncompromising” by Hannah Farver (onedesertrose.wordpress.com)
• We have to embrace REBELUTION (reinehere.wordpress.com)
• 1st Timothy 4:12 (youthofeternity.wordpress.com)

How’s Your Day Going?

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Which one of these looks more like the kind of day you would have?

Day A

-Turn off your alarm, roll over, and lament school, life, and the fact that you have to be up hours before you actually want to.

-Skip breakfast because you stayed in bed too long

-Grumble all the way to school, thinking about all the people you are going to see that you can’t stand

-Smile and chat with those people you were just grumbling about

-Half pay attention in class, thinking that you’re time could better be spent doing pretty much anything else

-Complain all through lunch about, well, lunch

-Go home, flop on the couch, and complain about how there’s nothing good to watch…which doesn’t stop you from watching anyway

-Roll your eyes when your mom asks you to clean up your room or the dishes

-Cram in homework, already dreading tomorrow when the cycle starts all over again

Day B

-Turn off your alarm, roll over, and take a minute to be thankful that you woke up, that you have a bed to sleep in, and that you get to go to school when most girls your age don’t have the chance

-Take the time to eat breakfast because it helps the morning to feel less frazzled. You even say a few words to your family or crack open your Bible

-Rock out on the way to school, knowing that music will put a smile on your face and put you in a better mood

-Greet your friends with a genuine smile, starting the day off with a lil sunshine

-Do your best to show respect to your teachers, even if that means avoiding talking with your friends and texting

-Use lunch as a time to listen to people who need listening to

-Go home, get homework out of the way ASAP, then do what you can to help your parents out so they will let you relax after dinner

What did you notice? I think most of us have more Day A moments than Day B. But they’re actually the same day! The difference? Attitude and choice.

I had this very ah-ha moment today when I found myself sitting on the couch with my four-year-old son on my lap. I didn’t want to be there. I had about a million things to do, the list growing longer with each moment. I felt stressed out, anxious, a kind of grumpy. To top it all off, we were watching Power Rangers: Samurai which might be the single worst show on the planet. Every second of the cheesy dialogue and pointless explosions were made even more painful by the hideous acting. This was not the way I wanted to spend my morning.

But then it hit me. I’m sitting here with the sun on my face. I have a kid in my lap who won’t fit there much longer. What in the world do I have to be grumpy about?

“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” – Colossians 3:17

 

Do you find yourself struggling with joy? With letting your circumstances dictate your head and your heart? Change things by being thankful. It’s the first step to joy. Your schedule doesn’t change. The people in your life don’t change. The things you have to do, the places you have to go, everything that makes life life don’t change.

But your head changes. And your heart changes.

And that changes everything.

What do you have today to be joyful about? I’ll start the list:

-My salvation

-My home

-The amazing dinner I’m about to cook

-My subscription to Good Housekeep

-A new episode of House on tonight

God’s Glory

How many of you desire to bring glory to God? Do you ever find yourself struggling with just how to do that?

 

“Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world…” – Philippians 2:14-15

• I don’t know about you, but I find myself slipping into patterns of complaining and criticizing without giving it a second thought. The thing is, anyone can grumble and complain. It sets us apart when we don’t. That’s why it’s such a big deal. Not complaining makes us stand out! And not just stand out like someone wearing polk-a-dots paired with plaid,  but stand out like lights shining in the world for the sake of Christ.

 

“Yet we know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because by works of the law, no one will be justified.” – Galatians 2:16

• We live in a world that tells us to brag about our accomplishments and hide our weaknesses. What does the Bible say? Boast in weaknesses! Let the world know when you fall short and fail! Why? It makes the grace and mercy of Christ that much more amazing. It reminds the world that it is Jesus who saves us – we don’t have to work to save ourselves. Do you stand out by your humility and your willingness to admit where you fall short, pointing people to Christ and making Him the hero of your life story?

 

“You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God.” – 2 Corinthians 9:11

 

• In a society that bombards us with things we “need,” it is totally counter cultural to be generous. To give sacrificially so others can have. To deny yourself for the better of other people. And not just to simply do it but to be thankful to God (not to yourself) when you do. Now that will make you stand out.

 

Those are just three things off the top of my head to help you stand out in this world and shine like lights for Jesus: not complaining, boasting in weaknesses, and being generous.

 

Any more than you can think of? Any verses that remind you to be different in this life for the glory of God?

 

Check Your Likeability Factor

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Did you decide if you are likeable? Regardless of your answer, there are things which seem to characterize people that we enjoy being around. This is a list of four things that simply address words and attitudes. Why words? Because they’re loud. And, honestly, this is the area where I personally am trying to become a more likeable person.

 

Good Listener – This is more than simply being quiet, though of course that helps. When you’re talking with someone, do you ask them questions in order to give them a chance to talk about themselves? Or does every other sentence you say contain “I” or “me”? Do people feel like all you talk about is yourself?

 

Killer Kindness – Believe it or not, this actually helps with the first one. When you focus on being kind, you’re focusing on others more than yourself. When you focus on others more than yourself, you tend to listen more than you talk. See? You’re more likeable already!

 

Grossed out by Gossip – Admit it – you like listening to gossip. But what is your opinion of those people who do it? They aren’t people that you would confide in, are they? So I’m guessing you don’t want to be one of those people. If you are constantly dishing dirt or, worse yet, asking questions so you can get the low down, you aren’t exactly being likeable.

And, yes, there is a difference between asking people questions to be a good listener and asking people questions so you can satisfy your desire to be “in the know” about everything. How do you know the difference? Check your motives and your heart.

Curb Complaining – No one likes a whiner. NO ONE! Are you positive? Optimistic? Willing to do things when people ask? Or do you argue? Roll your eyes and sigh? Try to get other people to do the work?

FYI this includes when your parents and teachers ask you to do things.

 

Which of these do you think you can get better at?

 

 

Women’s Liberation! Women’s Liberation?

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The Women’s Liberation movement of the 18^th century till now has opened up countless doors for us. Voting. Working. Social status. You’ve been told from an early age that you can do whatever you want to. And you can!

 

If you live in America.

 

Imagine if you didn’t.

 

Imagine if you couldn’t read.

 

Imagine if you couldn’t work.

 

Imagine if you couldn’t get medical care.

 

What would you do?

 

Be thankful.

 

Of the estimated one billion illiterate people worldwide, over two thirds are women. Of the estimated 130 million children worldwide who aren’t in school, about two thirds are girls. By age 18, on average, girls worldwide have received 4.4 years less schooling that boys.

 

American children under the age of 13, on average, have more spending money than the 300 million poorest people in the world.

 

Next time you feel like complaining about school, think about these stats. Next time you whine about your possessions, think about all of this.

 

You are an amazing kick butt girl. You have been blessed beyond what you deserve. There is so much we take for granted. School. Doctors. The fact that we get to learn. The fact that we can have jobs.

 

Do us all a favor and realize that. Be thankful. Be humble.

 

And pray. Pray for your sisters around the world who have so much less than you. Pray that they would get by. That they would have food, education, medical care, and safety.

 

And be thankful. Have I said that already? I’ll say it again.

 

Be thankful.

 

Complaining Vs. Contentment

:: Grumpy ::

Originally uploaded by » Zitona «

“Do all things without grumbling or questioning…” – Philippians 2:14

Yeah, yeah, yeah – we’ve heard that line before. Christians aren’t supposed to complain. We’re supposed to go through life with smiles glued on our faces shouting, “Praise the Lord!” at everything that happens, right?

Well, that would be just creepy.

It’s easy to tell someone not to complain. But have you ever wondered why we’re not supposed to? Is it simply that we’re supposed to look happy-go-lucky all the time? Or is there something more?

“And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” – Romans 8:28

All things. Not just some things. Not just the things you like. ALL things. Yes, that means that God is working school for good. Yes, that means God is working your home life for good.

We have this nasty habit of forgetting about the sovereignty (total and complete control) of God when it comes to things that we don’t enjoy. School. Chores. Lousy parents. But God has you where you are right now for a reason!

“So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please Him.” – 2 Corinthians 5:6-9

One day, all this will be gone. We’ll be chilling up in heaven with Jesus, living a perfect life, all our focus on Him. Joy will overflow and abound in every moment of every glorious day.

That day is not today.

Today we’re here, trudging through this existence as imperfect people in an imperfect world. But we have a purpose. A reason that we’re still here. We’re to please Him. We’re to look for ways to glorify Him even every single circumstance.

And that, tough girls, is why we don’t complain.

So where can you stop grumbling and start glorifying Him?

Good Things Come

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With all of our gumption and gusto, we as kick butt girls have a problem. Well, we have lots of problems J But this is a problem all girls share. And it’s called waiting.

We hate it.

We live in a world where we want what we want and we want it now. If I don’t know the answer to the question, I Google it or text ChaCha. If I’m hungry, I speed through a drive thru or pop something in the microwave. OnDemand, Amazon, and about a million other things have made it so we can have what we want almost instantly.

So what if we can’t get it?

We pout. We cry. We get angry, frustrated, and wonder why in the world things aren’t working out how we want.

This last weekend, one of the high schools in my area had Homecoming. A super fun time of dressing up, going out to eat, and maybe even celebrating a first date.

But then there are those kick butt girls who didn’t get asked. Who sit at home and wonder, “What in the world is wrong with me? Where’s my night out? Where’s my Prince Charming?”

Let me tell you something, kick butt girl: Prince Charming isn’t in high school. He isn’t dating a cheerleader or starring in the school play.

He’s hidden inside those guys roaming your halls. And what’s going to bring him out? Not a short skirt or a flirty move.

It’s waiting. Waiting for him to grow up. Waiting for him to mature. Waiting for him to figure out who he is and who God has called him to be.

So the next time you feel yourself drifting down the “I hate being single” highway, stop. U-turn. And remember that your Prince Charming is out there.

And the longer you wait, the more charming he will be. And that’s what you deserve.

Speak

There’s nothing like being reminded of how powerful you are. I love writing this blog and reminding you of the power of your beauty, the power of your mind, the power of your actions.

But nothing matches the power of words.

Words create. They plant ideas that shape minds and people and the world. They paint pictures that last a life time. They dictate what we think and believe.

Words can also destroy. They hurt, tear down, and rip apart anything and everything. They scar and mar. If you’ve ever been in middle school, you know exactly what I’m talking about. The things people say stay with us and affect us forever.

So what kind of words are you using? Are you building up? Tearing down?

“Let no corrupting talk come our of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” – Ephesians 4:29

You are powerful beyond belief. Use it wisely.

Spew

Okay, I don’t care how tough you are, the idea of vomit is disgusting. I’m a contagious throw-upper, to the point that someone even faking the noises makes my stomach churn.

This last week I went on a mission trip to San Francisco with forty two high schoolers and seven other adults. And while I witnessed God doing amazing things, I also came across some disgusting spew.

Complaining.

Nothing can drain the energy of a group, bring people down, and dampen spirits more than someone whose negative attitude, pessimistic outlook, and whininess can’t be contained. It doesn’t matter how small or how big the thing is they complain about. It’s all annoying, frustrating, and downright nauseating.

Now don’t get me wrong. Girls should always be aware of our propensity toward gossip. And while complaining may not be as damaging as gossip, it both brings other people down and lowers their view of us. I mean, who in the world actually looks up to and wants to emulate a whiner?

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” – Ephesians 4:29

So, tough girl, watch your mouth. Let every word you say be a chance to build others and Jesus up. Memorize that verse up there. Tattoo it on your head. Sink it in your heart. Above all, live it.

And if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.