Do You Know That I’m Judging You Right Now?

Source: teenagerposts.tumblr.com

I ran across this other day on Pinterest and laughed – hard. Not because it’s me, but because it used to be me. And it is now pretty much every teenage and young adult girl that I know.

So, being the obsessive person that I am and craving some more belly chuckles, I clicked over to “teenagerposts” on tumblr and read through a couple of pages of funny teenager related quips and giggles. Do you know what I came away with?

A very low view of teenagers. According to these quotes, you are lazy, conniving, self-centered, sarcastic, naive, and disrespectful. Oh, and you have a potty mouth too.

Here’s the thing – I know lots of teenagers. In fact, outside of my family, they are the age group I spend the most time with. And I know they’re better than that.

Are you?

Do you stand out from the crowd? Can people tell you’re different than the other girls your age?

Can they tell you’re different by how you dress? (Read: Do people think your shorts could pass for underwear?)

Can they tell you’re different by how you talk? (Read: Do you say, text, and Facebook things you’d never say to your parent’s face?)

Can they tell you’re different by how you treat your parents, your siblings, your teachers, and your friends? (Read: Are you an eye-rolling, sighing, whining, critical, disrespectful, not-at-all-like-Jesus girl?)

Can they tell you’re different by how you spend your time and money? (Read: Are you so busy and materialistic that you could have a hit reality show on MTV?)

Does Jesus set you apart from the crowd?

Like it or not, you’re being watched. More than that, you’re being judged. By people you know. By people you don’t know. At school, at home, in the mall – anywhere and everywhere.

So what do they see?

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” – Ephesians 4:10

Question: Do you look just like everyone around when you’re at school? At home? At work? What can you change to do a better job putting Christ on display?

The Best of How To Fight Like A Girl: 4

How To Dress To Get His Attention

As much as we say we don’t, we do. As much as we pretend that we don’t, we do. We get dressed in the morning, think about a certain someone (or multiple someones) or even the hope of meeting that someone and think, “I wonder if this will get his attention?”

Guys are visual. It’s easy to dress in a way that gets his attention or turns him away. The problem is, way too many girls dress in a way that attracts the wrong kind of guy. Sure, short shorts and tight shirts will get guys looking. But it will be the wrong kind of guy. So here is some advice as to how to dress the grab the attention of the right kind of guy.

Be Yourself

Are you a sporty kind of girl? Rock the sneakers, basketball shorts, and ponytail. Are you into music? Wear shirts with music-type jokes that only you get (I’d insert one here, but I’m not musical and, therefore, have nothing to offer). Into nature? Wear lots of brown and green and get one of those feather extensions that are so popular right now. The bottom line is, wear things that boldly proclaim who you are. Guys want you to be real.

Be Modest

I know I’ve pounded you over the head with this time and time again, but it always deserves repetition. The bottom line is, if it’s not for sale, don’t put it on the menu.

Be Feminine

As much as modesty is important, it’s no excuse to be a slob. Use good hygiene. Make sure your clothes are in good shape. Don’t wear too much make up. Buy clothes in the girl’s department. Dress up on occasion and celebrate your inner girly girl.

Be Humble

The ultimate test of your appearance is asking your dad. Ask him if it’s too much or not enough. Ask him if he has any suggestions. Does dressing like Daddy’s little girl really get a guys attention? If your dad approves, that means that you will be dressing to impress the right kind of guy.

Be Patient

One of the reasons girls change their appearance is the hopes of getting some attention – pretty much any attention from any guy. But if you are modest, feminine, and totally yourself, the right guy will come along at the right time and think you are beyond beautiful just the way you are. So keep being yourself and wait. Even when it seems like it’s taking forever, wait. He’ll be along some day.

I was watching What Not To Wear the other day and there was a girl with orange skin (too much tanning), bleached blond hair, and so much makeup, I’m surprised it wasn’t dripping off. She wore tight pink clothes and talked like a ditz.

More shocking than her appearance was what she had to say. “I’m a nice Christian girl and I just want a nerdy, geeky kind of guy. But it seems like only jerks are interested in me.”

I wanted to shake some sense into her! You really think a nerdy, geeky kind of guy would even approach you let alone ask you out? And, I don’t even know you, but they way you dress and talk screams, “I’m easy!”

The best way to dress to impress a guy is to don’t. Don’t try too hard. Don’t be consumed with it. Be modest, be yourself, and be patient.

What are some of your favorite things that you wear that your perfect guy will just fall in love with?

Related articles

• The Summer Of Skirts (fightlikegirls.wordpress.com)
• You are what you wear (theshenpen.wordpress.com)
• Modest is Honest (mistygatlin.wordpress.com)

This blog was originally posted on June 29, 2011

How Can I Tell A Friend She’s Vain?

Image via Wikipedia

 

Dear Crystal,

I have a friend who is beautiful. She’s smart, funny, and has tons going for her. But she’s a little too into her appearance. When she spends the night, she takes, like, an hour in the bathroom to get ready. She wears a ton of make-up. And, any time she passes by a mirror, she has to look at herself and fix her hair.

How do I tell her that she’s being vain? That she cares way too much about her appearance? Should I even say anything?

Sincerely, A Fashion Worried Friend

Dear Fashion Worried Friend,

I think we’ve all had friends like that. Or maybe even a sister. They have so much going for them, we wonder why in the world they’re hiding behind a mask of makeup and curling irons. So what is a good meaning friend to do?

Set a good example
Before you talk to her, take a good look at yourself. How into your appearance are you? How much time do you spend getting ready in the morning? How much time do you spend talking about your clothes, or even other people’s clothes? If you want to see her change in a good way, start off by changing yourself in a good way.

Challenge her
Invite her over for a sleep over. Make some fun DIY face masks (you know, oatmeal, avocado, the whole bit). After you do your facials, put on p.j.s and don’t put on makeup. Rock a ponytail, have fun, and remind her that you don’t have to be a fashion diva to have fun and feel good about yourself. And an extra challenge? Try to get out and do something the next morning without putting on make-up or doing your hair. An idea for that is to go on a walk and end up at Starbucks.

Build her up
When you see her, compliment any less-is-more strides that she takes. Tell her how great she looks when she wears her hair naturally. At the end of the day when her lipstick has worn off or first thing in the morning before she goops up her eyes with eyeliner, tell her how great she looks.

Find the root
Chances are, all the attention to outward appearance has to do with an inner insecurity. Is there something else going on there? Maybe she’s feeling like she has to compete with her friends. Or maybe she’s trying to impress guys. Whatever the root cause, talk to her and figure it out. Then give her godly, Biblical love and Scriptures that have to do with finding your fullness and satisfaction in Christ.

Be careful
If you want to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with your friend or sister, make sure it isn’t just a rag session. Tell her all the wonderful qualities she has and that you don’t want to see those things diminished by having too much focus on her outer appearance. And make sure you have the right to speak into her life. If you aren’t really that close to her, a heart-to-heart will probably come off as condescending and critical.

Question: What are some things you’ve done to spend less time on your physical image? Is there any part of your fashion routine that you could cut out to let your natural beauty show? Any make-up you could stop wearing or hair styles you could change?

Related articles

• Frugal Beauty: How to Look Good on a Budget (getrichslowly.org)

Marked By Beauty

Image via Wikipedia

 

As school starts up again, what will be the first thing that people notice about you? Is it your sweet new Buckle jeans? Maybe that awesome tan you can’t wait to show off? Have you gotten taller and slimmer? Are you wearing more makeup?

Something about the first day of school brings out a desire to show off. Even if you are at the same school you were last year, it’s like a fresh start to make a new impression. So what is the most important thing you’re going to put on?

“Do not let your adorning be external – the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear – but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” – 1 Peter 3:3-4

I’m certainly not advocating for a no-hair-style, jewelry-less fashion trend. But it does bring up the question – what are people seeing? Do they pay more attention to your clothes, or your kindness? Do they notice your make-up, or you attitude?

Are you marked by outer beauty, which anyone in the world can reproduce? Or inner beauty, which comes only from intimacy with Jesus?

Do you spend more time in the morning making your outward appearance beautiful, or your spirit beautiful?

I love shopping. I love new clothes. I love new shoes more than I should love any material object. But I also know that it isn’t what I want people to notice the most about me. I don’t want to them to leave talking about my cute hair or my cute clothes. I want to leave with them the impression of someone who loves Jesus, spends time with Him, and cares more about His opinion than theirs.

That’s the kind of beauty I want to be marked by. What about you?

Question: What things do you to work on your inner beauty? What kind of things can you do to make sure your inner beauty is shining brighter than your outer beauty?

Related articles

• Turn Up the Heat on My Beauty! (jessthewayitis.wordpress.com)
• Beauty Is Deeper Than Skin (completelydevoted.wordpress.com)

How To Dress To Get His Attention

As much as we say we don’t, we do. As much as we pretend that we don’t, we do. We get dressed in the morning, think about a certain someone (or multiple someones) or even the hope of meeting that someone and think, “I wonder if this will get his attention?”

 

Guys are visual. It’s easy to dress in a way that gets his attention or turns him away. The problem is, way too many girls dress in a way that attracts the wrong kind of guy. Sure, short shorts and tight shirts will get guys looking. But it will be the wrong kind of guy. So here is some advice as to how to dress the grab the attention of the right kind of guy.

 

Be Yourself

Are you a sporty kind of girl? Rock the sneakers, basketball shorts, and ponytail. Are you into music? Wear shirts with music-type jokes that only you get (I’d insert one here, but I’m not musical and, therefore, have nothing to offer). Into nature? Wear lots of brown and green and get one of those feather extensions that are so popular right now. The bottom line is, wear things that boldly proclaim who you are. Guys want you to be real.

 

Be Modest

I know I’ve pounded you over the head with this time and time again, but it always deserves repetition. The bottom line is, if it’s not for sale, don’t put it on the menu.

 

Be Feminine

As much as modesty is important, it’s no excuse to be a slob. Use good hygiene. Make sure your clothes are in good shape. Don’t wear too much make up. Buy clothes in the girl’s department. Dress up on occasion and celebrate your inner girly girl.

 

Be Humble

The ultimate test of your appearance is asking your dad. Ask him if it’s too much or not enough. Ask him if he has any suggestions. Does dressing like Daddy’s little girl really get a guys attention? If your dad approves, that means that you will be dressing to impress the right kind of guy.

 

Be Patient

One of the reasons girls change their appearance is the hopes of getting some attention – pretty much any attention from any guy. But if you are modest, feminine, and totally yourself, the right guy will come along at the right time and think you are beyond beautiful just the way you are. So keep being yourself and wait. Even when it seems like it’s taking forever, wait. He’ll be along some day.

 

I was watching What Not To Wear the other day and there was a girl with orange skin (too much tanning), bleached blond hair, and so much makeup, I’m surprised it wasn’t dripping off. She wore tight pink clothes and talked like a ditz.

 

More shocking than her appearance was what she had to say. “I’m a nice Christian girl and I just want a nerdy, geeky kind of guy. But it seems like only jerks are interested in me.”

 

I wanted to shake some sense into her! You really think a nerdy, geeky kind of guy would even approach you let alone ask you out? And, I don’t even know you, but they way you dress and talk screams, “I’m easy!”

 

The best way to dress to impress a guy is to don’t. Don’t try too hard. Don’t be consumed with it. Be modest, be yourself, and be patient.

 

What are some of your favorite things that you wear that your perfect guy will just fall in love with?

Related articles

• The Summer Of Skirts (fightlikegirls.wordpress.com)
• You are what you wear (theshenpen.wordpress.com)
• Modest is Honest (mistygatlin.wordpress.com)

Dress To Impress

What do you think about as you get ready in the morning?

 

Do you dress to try and look skinner? Look fashionable? Do you copy things you see in magazines or just throw something together? Do you get dressed thinking about who you will see and what they will think about it (hence the sweatpants and a stained shirt when you are planning on staying home all day)?

 

We all care about our appearance. It’s why we spend so much money on clothes, hair products, and accessories. It’s why we have to add an extra thirty minutes into our morning get-ready routine. It’s why we twirl in front of mirrors, trying to get a glimpse of every possible angle, making sure we look good from all sides.

 

But how much care and attention is too much?

 

“…women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness – with good works.” – 1 Timothy 2:9-10

 

First off, this isn’t a theological debate about whether or not Christian women can wear jewelry or braid their hair. I’ll leave that to the Bible School nerds with more time on their hands.

 

But what we can take from this passage is that, as much as we are concerned with our outward appearance, we need to be concerned with what people see us doing and how we are living.

 

Do you wake up in the morning and think about putting on self-control? When people look at you during the day, do they see good works that are the result of godliness?

 

I want to be more concerned with my spiritual state each day than I am about what I’m wearing. I want people to notice the things I am doing for the Kingdom of God more than they notice my outfits. I want the love of Jesus to outshine my bling.

 

How much care and attention is too much? Instead, why don’t you ask yourself, “How much do I care about Jesus shining through me? What can I do to make that more important than what I’m wearing?”

 

What ways have you found to clothe yourself with godliness each day?

 

Related articles

• Clothed in Courage (jalapenosandchocolate.com)
• Getting Dressed (mistygatlin.wordpress.com)